piratejournal | [005 || Written]

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[005 || Written]

Dear magical journal thing that I'm feeling slightly more ambivalent towards as of late even though your pages are continuously filled with useless drivel that I can't be bothered to read,

I recently acquired a broom.

It's not as good as my Nimbus back home, but it'll do.

If anyone on my crew needs me — ha — check the skies.

- Draco Malfoy

P.S. I also purchased some chocolate frogs but one of them seems to have gone missing. Do feel free to alert me if you hear any out of place ribbits on board, but really, they've usually only got one decent jump in them so he can't have gone far.

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I was assuming they'd be either chocolate or frogs, not both. [There are more chocolatey marks across the page.]

He found me. What do you do with them?

You were perhaps expecting chocolate in the shape of a dog, then?

It's chocolate, genius. You eat it.

No. Brown frogs, maybe. Your world is weird.

It's moving. You eat it while alive?

Why would I have purchased a brown frog?

It's not alive, it's enchanted!

I assumed some kind of magic. Futo was collecting insects before.

Why?

Why is it enchanted? I don't know, to make for a more interesting sweets experience? I didn't invent them.

[There are a bunch more chocolatey footprints before a smear, as if someone swept away an enterprising chocolate frog.]

I thought you said they only have one good jump. This one keeps walking around on me.

[Draco's just going to sit over here snickering at the mess on the page.]

I said usually. I guess you got a good one, though.

You could just eat him. He'll stop moving, then.

I don't really eat sweets.

Ugh, now my journal smells like chocolate. [He sounds thoroughly annoyed in a much more juvenile manner than usual.]

[OH GOOD, now you can hear him snickering even more.]

Your loss, then! Really, it's a piece of candy, how hard would it be to throw him at a wall or something?

...No, don't do that, it's a waste of chocolate. Just snap off his leg.

Snap off his -- [He sounds disturbed by what Draco's people apparently think is fun for their food.]

I'll just have my brother eat it. [And here the sounds of Sasuke looking for Itachi, frog in hand. Or on his journal, wandering happily around.]

...Honestly, it's not real, you know. It really is just all chocolate. If you break part of it off, it can't feel it.

[The voice may be a bit quiet on Itachi's end.]

...is it?

Is that the chocolate frog?

Yeah, this is it.

[Faint whooshing sounds as he waves the journal in the air to indicate Draco's entry.]

Apparently it's chocolate and only moves for fun. Do you want it?

[Rolling his eyes over here and kind of mutters this next part since they seem busy talking to each other.]

It's bloody chocolate, not a potions experiment gone horribly wrong. For Merlin's sake.

[Addressing Sasuke's journal:] Most chocolates don't move on their own.

[He looks back to Sasuke.]

So it's not actually alive?

Draco says it's not.

[Which reminds him to turn back to the journal and add:] It's not that I care if it feels pain. I just don't like chocolate.

[And the chocolatey frog footprints stop as he picks it up and holds it out.]

[Just for the hell of it:]

Well, alright then. Though, if it does cry out and sounds as though it's suffering agonizing torture when you take your first bite, think nothing of it! All part of the spell, you see.

[Itachi takes the frog cautiously, cupping it in his hands and staring at it.

It moves like a real frog, but it certainly doesn't feel like one. It's definitely made of chocolate. Draco's comment causes him to give the journal an unamused look.

It's... cute.]

... why would you make it sound like it's being tortured if you're trying to get people to want to eat it? [He levels the journal with a blank stare that Draco sadly won't get the effect of, then looks back at Itachi, who ... seems to be getting attached to it.]

It's like candy that Mist-nin would come up with. [This, he mutters at Itachi. The frog appears to be melting just a little from the warmth of Itachi's hands, making finicky steps that leave footprints on skin.]

Ask whoever invented them, I really couldn't tell you.

[LISTENING INTENTLY, waiting to see if he actually eats it or not.]

[Oh, it's melting... What a slow and terrible death that would be if it actually was a living thing.

So, calmly, he pops it partway into his mouth and severs it through the middle. It stops moving instantly, and there's no doubt from the taste that it's made of nothing but chocolate.

He holds the bottom half as he chews, giving it the oddest of looks, as he isn't sure how to feel about this candy overall.]

... it stopped moving. [Sasuke observes this in tones of deep confusion as to why anyone would come up with something like this, peering at the remainder of the chocolate in Itachi's hand as if suspicious it will try to jump again.]

How many of these did you say were on the ship?

Oh. [Feigns disappointment.] No horrid screeching.

I purchased three. One ended up on Link's sailboat somehow, Merlin knows. Then there's the one you have. The last one is still in its package.

[Itachi is still holding the bottom half of the frog when he speaks up.]

I assume you got them from Miss Margie's shop.

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