⚔ 4 - Colonial Rite

[orderispeace]

[Voice // Locked to the Triton’s Mistress Crew and Guests / excluding Elissa]

There has been a lot of talk of people acting oddly. I wondered... Have any of you noticed anything peculiar with Elissa lately?

If it is just myself she doesn’t wish to speak to I could understand.

[What with recent events maybe he had created an awkward situation... ]

Has she seemed withdrawn or more peevish than usual with anyone else?

Comments

[Written]

[orderispeace]

You've not noticed then that Elissa is a lady?

[Best looking 'guy' on the ship. ]

[Written]

[just_a_minute]

I'm not an idiot. I know she's a woman!

[.. but I've never seen a "lady" that could roughhouse with the best of them. It wasn't an insult, really. Not to him anyway.]

[Written]

[orderispeace]

I was beginning to wonder if you did or not.

[You have yet to live, those kind of ladies are the best kind!]

[Written]

[just_a_minute]

There aren't a lot of guys with a rack...

[Yeah, he was being a bit crass here. We're leaving moobs out of this. I don't want to think about moobs. Hey- I like the type that can roughhouse... I also like the type that shows off some skin now and then. Don't judge me]

[Written]

[orderispeace]

I beg your pardon?

[Oh good, come at the man from the Colonial Era with slang! I'll have you know he owns a rack! A nice gun rack in his room. ]

[Written] >.>;....

[just_a_minute]

[Eye roll, get with the times grandpa]

Breasts.

[Lol, not going to sugarcoat it. He already tried that and it failed.]

[Written] --''' men

[orderispeace]

You mad bastard! You give them titles?

[He might have used the word bosom himself if a more floral way of mentioning them could not have been thought of.]

[Written] Yeah >.>;..... pigs all of them

[just_a_minute]

Feh- that's not the half of it.

[Guess whose going to get a lesson in slang today.....]

Bikini stuffers, melons, gazongas, knockers, milk shakes... There's lots of names for them, some more ludicrous sounding than others. Hell I could be listing them all day and never run out of euphemisms.

[Written] Tsk... Ban...

[orderispeace]

And how do the ladies take to these euphemisms of yours?

[Written]

[just_a_minute]

... Eh? [Haytham briefly stumped him with that one.]

... Well how do you think they react? [It isn't pretty... but then the wicked thoughts started. If Haytham was only dumber.. he would have suggested that he try the words out for himself. It was a shame but he knew he was too clever for that and would see through the trick..

So.. the truth it is!] They try to beat the shit out of you if they're able, or just slap you across the face if they aren't...

That's not the point of using them though......

[Written]

[orderispeace]

[Hey if old Ben Franklin couldn't convince him to try his ideas you would be hard pressed to convince Haytham to try yours. The soon-to-be elder statesman's argument had been far more eloquently described if some what more bawdy in nature. ]

I wouldn't think being called a melon would become a term of endearment...

[It would be entertaining to see Ban try it out on some one though. ]

What would you say the point is?

[Written]

[just_a_minute]

[Yeah, tell me about how Ben Franklin was into hags. He might have been a great thinker but I don't know what he was thinking about in terms of the bedroom- if you know what I'm saying.]

.....

[He just had to ask. How do you justify being a rude jerk to people? Well.. I guess here's how?]

It throws them off their guard... [Only partially true. Sometimes he used those terms to distract opponents, or irritate them to point that they revealed their hand.. and other times he was just being a pain.] ... and it's more a set of terms you'd use with the guys when you're talking about women... [Guys don't care unless it's their girlfriend that you're talking about]

[Written]

[orderispeace]

[Unfortunately I do. That is a conversation that can not be unheard.]

I had wondered your reasoning for it.

[He was familiar enough with Ban's temperament not to be surprised by his desire to be rude. ]

[Written]

[just_a_minute]

[HA sucks to be you]

Don't knock it until you've tried it...

[Written]

[orderispeace]

Why would I wish to try it? You have already outlined what would happen and I've really no desire to be set upon by an irate woman.

[Written]

[just_a_minute]

For the experience!

[Geeze Haytham knew so little about women...]

Besides, even if they turn on you it’s hilarious to see how flustered they get.

[This is so why you’re single, Ban]