piratejournal | [written]

[It's a sobering thought, but for all that the man they'd questioned had clearly known nothing about their abilities, he'd been a low-level grunt after all, officer or not. And even if the military knows nothing, there's still the matter of the entity that supposedly brought them all here in the first place.]

I've never heard of a place with natural curses. [But, voice dry, he adds:] What I've heard of doesn't count for much, here.

[But if they're not being toyed with -- which he can't understand the purpose of -- then ...] What if this is meant to be some sort of test? We're supposed to gather the pieces of this gem -- perhaps we're being tested to see if we're strong enough?

If we weren't already considered strong enough, then we should not have been brought in the first place. Though if this is a trial that will be set before us in order to retrieve the gem, then I could see how this might be necessary.

At the same time, we could be suffering for no reason at all when the solution has been set before us.

[He glance falls back down to their arms, his fingers clasped around his brother's, and his expression becomes one of mild displeasure. His grip loosens.]

If you would rather not do this, I understand. I will abstain from physical contact also.

Even if there is a solution and this isn't caused by someone, this kind of cold isn't natural -- no physical effects, but everyone feels like they're freezing? It --

[But he sees the twist in Itachi's face and feels the way his grip loosens, and the words make his hands flinch with the truth of it: he doesn't want to, but he's not a child who won't be made to clean his room when he'd rather tail his brother out to the training fields. Itachi's right; there is a solution, but --]

No -- [But the denial bursts out, inelegant. And honest, in its unplanned intensity.]

I don't want you to suffer needlessly. [He'd said he'd carry them forward, and for all that this is a little thing in the grand scheme of things, it's still part of the whole.] I just ...

I'm not used to touching people outside of a fight. [It's a weird thing to admit, but it's true.] I'll hug you. If you want.

[Itachi isn't much for touching either, but unlike Sasuke he'd had the opportunity to up until very recently. Sasuke had a family that loved him, a mother that would have hugged him whenever he wished for it, and his older brother had taken that away from him. This thought causes Itachi's heart to ache, and he closes his eyes.]

I'm sorry.

[It's unbidden, and the last thing Sasuke is looking for right now, but there it is all the same.]

I shouldn't have asked this of you. I thought... perhaps it would help you also.

[It's a long moment before Sasuke works out the connection between his own words and the apology -- he's become so accustomed to it, guarding against nearness and touch, a certain awareness of the threat inherent in closeness that borders on paranoia. He's lived alone and wanted by his own choice for long enough that the memory of being held has long faded out of clarity.

He wouldn't relive it for most. But this is his brother, and Itachi is apologizing for it, which makes these past weeks and the various faces of Itachi that he's seen, his own world to this one, the most he's ever heard I'm sorry from his brother.

He lets go of Itachi's hands and reaches out, gingerly pulling him closer. In its own weird way it helps that he's taller, here; it's somehow easier to be aware that this is physically, viscerally different from the reality he knows.]

No, you're right. It's impractical not to use a solution when there is one.

[When Sasuke pulls him close, Itachi goes along with it easily, wrapping his arms around the waist of the other. Immediately a comfortable warmth begins to seep through his clothing to engulf his entire body.

Such a cruel curse this is.

His hands clench the back of his brother's shirt and he rests his head against his shoulder. He can only assume that the same feeling is being shared with Sasuke as well. If it isn't, he doesn't know what else they'd need to do.]

...Thank you.

It's nothing.

[Though it is, a voluntary closeness to another person he knows is dangerous. This isn't like shoving Karin off if she clutches too long; there's no combat in it. And more than that -- for all that this is different, he can tell this is his brother.

Itachi still smells like home. It's maybe the weirdest memory of all, but there it is: possibly the detergent Mikoto used, maybe, still lingering under the salt-smell everything takes on at sea. His hands stay tense, uncertain, but his voice is nearly wistful under its habitual terseness.]

I used to bother you all the time with childish things like this.

I didn't mind it. Not really.

[Itachi's words are quiet, barely above a whisper. This isn't what he'd been aiming for when he sought his brother out, but he should have seen it coming. How could he pull him into an embrace without being overcome by memories and regret?]

I spent so much time doing what I thought I needed to do in order to keep you safe that I didn't spend enough of it with you.

[And that was just as important, wasn't it? If not more so.]

[He doesn't expect the sudden pang at those words, a surprised wrench of something he is grateful to be able to hide over Itachi's shoulder. It's something seven years old and eternally looking up and ahead for Itachi's shadow, a perfect faith both in the strength of his brother and the question of his own ability to ever be equal enough to be worth the attention he demanded.]

I was just your kid brother. There were bigger things to catch your attention.

[He'd been the child Itachi had treated him as -- but that had been the expectation to meet, and it's Sasuke now, seventeen and educated early in bloodshed, late in truth, who adds:]

I could have shared your burden, brother.

Maybe... Maybe you could have.

[And there are those tears, welling up again where they shouldn't. When he should be beyond that. But the wounds are just too fresh still.]

Maybe that's where I went wrong.

[No hitch to his breath. No sobs to wrack him. He's a ninja, above all, and he isn't allowed to break down again. Not over this, and not here.

There are just too many feelings between them, and an Uchiha always learns to shove those away.]

[He forgets, sometimes -- often -- that the massacre is fresh for Itachi, a new memory instead of something aged over with Mangekyou nightmares and time. It's probably not fair to say these things to Itachi now, maybe not fair ever given every mistake Sasuke has run into full-tilt, but ... I'm your little brother, Sasuke had said, watching Itachi sacrifice himself for the village that denied him yet again.

Whatever he'd been meant to do, whatever his brother had hoped, he hadn't done it.]

... you weren't the only one responsible. [It's a small comfort, maybe. Tentatively, he flattens a hand out over Itachi's back until the hold is something closer to an actual hug.]

We were part of a long pattern of secrets and hatred. The village misled you. Our clan was too arrogant.

[His voice is almost wistful:] We fought side by side in the end, though.

[Itachi doesn't know all the details surrounding his death, only what he's been told, so this confuses him a little. He lifts his head just slightly, eyes obviously wet but expression baffled.]

... I thought you said that you'd killed me?

[What part of that had involved them working together? Sure, Sasuke had mentioned some other events that followed, but one didn't go much beyond death.

At least not in most cases.]

[... and that's a complicated thing to explain, and he forgets too that what happened after Itachi's death is something halfway insane and definitely difficult to make sound like anything other than impossible. It's clear in Itachi's expression, as much as the unaccustomed and unexpected emotion there, and Sasuke fumbles awkwardly for an explanation --]

I did, but it's complicated. It'd take a long time to ...

[... though, for the first time he can ever remember, time is something he has with his brother. The revelation is sudden, his words trailing off as he blinks through it -- every day of their lives in their own worlds compressed by a hundred things to do and a hundred obligations to make, but here there is just the drag of days across the open ocean.

He leans back, then down enough so that they are at eye level, voice serious.]

There's a lot I can tell you, brother. But do you really want to know your future?

[Silence. Itachi's face falls back into something neutral again, his gaze sitting somewhere past his brother's shoulder. It would be so easy, wouldn't it? Just to have Sasuke tell him everything that happens so that he can prepare himself for what he might be able to change.

But he still can't decide if this is the right thing to do, and the best time to make this decision wouldn't be when he's this unsettled.]

... Allow me to regain control of my heart before I answer that.

[He wants to just say yes so badly.]

For now, being here next to you is enough.

[Sasuke can't imagine it himself, to have the opportunity and the dread of knowing his own future -- whether it held success or failure. The latter would mean no option other than to fight against it, but was it truly possible to prevent the future? No -- it had to be; he had to believe in the possibility that cycles could be broken, patterns could be made anew.

His own future depended on that; and there was a strange thought to have, the notion that he had to believe something rather than simply putting one foot in front of another and doggedly forging forward on the path.]

Alright -- [Or he begins to say it, but Itachi's next words startle him into silence, a sentiment he'd entertained himself for just a breath's worth of disbelief before reality sunk in.

There's a long moment before he can find words again, expression conflicted, but his mouth is tilted at one corner into a crooked, complicated smile at the end.]

Yeah. We don't make a bad team.

[A team... He'd never been much of a team player, even when he'd had one. Even when he'd wanted to help as many people as possible in the long run. The fewer people he'd had to back him up, the fewer he'd have to worry about being harmed for associating with him.

But of anyone, he should be able to work well with his brother...

His fists clench more tightly into Sasuke's clothes, and a light shudder runs through him only once.]

...We should stay with each other tonight, so that we can sleep through the chill.

[The memories dredged up here have been difficult and, in many ways, painful, but they are also somewhat useful -- he can feel Itachi's hands tensing further and finally remembers the way Mikoto used to give hugs, warm with comfort, undemanding, the smell of the kitchen and shinobi steel combined into her apron. There is still hesitation in his hands, but he pats Itachi's back a few times, tries to lose some of the tension in his own body.

The suggestion makes sense, though he has to eye the pile of blankets he's already made and the swinging hammock with some dubiousness.]

We can set up some kind of barrier so the movement of the ship doesn't roll us everywhere.

[A nod at that. Two of them wouldn't be able to occupy one hammock very well, and the ship rocking was definitely an issue.

It feels childish to ask, but he wants his brother to be able to sleep without freezing more than he wants to avoid it himself. If the other is willing to go along with it, it will be good for both of them.]

However I can be of help, I will.

[It's going to be as weird a night as he's ever spent, and he can't foresee himself actually sleeping through much of it with Itachi's chakra so close, but at least neither of them need to be freezing. He can say with certainty that he can't remember the last time he's shared space quite so closely, and the mechanics of it on a ship are going to be awkward already.

He glances around again and finally settles on a chest in the corner of the room. It's empty at the moment, Sasuke preferring to keep his very light complement of weapons on him, but it's solid wood and heavy enough.]

I'll move that over if you set up the blankets by a wall.

[It's not optimal, but it should do. No Uchiha is going to be killed by sliding cargo.]

We can hold the chest secure with some kunai between the floorboards.

[He wouldn't want to cause too much damage to the floor in Sasuke's chosen lodgings, but that shouldn't be terrible.]

I have a few if you do not.

I have only what I arrived with and barely a handful more.

[If he sounds disgruntled by this, it's because he is; there had been passable weaponry in that shop in town, but he'd only had enough of this world's money on him to buy a single set, and the Kusanagi is still missing, a weird lack of weight at his back.

He pushes the chest over, making enough room for two between it and the wall, and starts wedging kunai around it to keep it in place.]

[Itachi helps with this so that they can spend as little time on it as possible.]

You may have some of mine, if you want.

[A pause, and he looks to his brother again.]

Are you sure this is alright?

Edited 2014-01-07 23:12 (UTC)

It'll probably hold. It's not like we'll be killed by a chest, anyway. [He gives the chest an experimental shove with his knee, and though the kunai dig a bit into the wood it holds position.

The question makes him look up from the floor, surprised. People don't question whether he's doing what he wants anymore, and he isn't sure he can remember if Itachi ever asked him if sometihng was alright at all.

But -- this is as probably as weird to Itachi as it is to him, if he thinks about it.]

If it weren't, I wouldn't have agreed to it.

[His mouth twitches a little at one corner, unexpected even for himself.] Between when I was seven and now, brother, I stopped letting other people make me do things I didn't want to.

[Itachi nods, leaving his head bowed a little after. He should have known it didn't need to be asked. He's being too hesitant, the child with his older brother instead of the other way around.

It's not how he should be acting. He straightens up.]

Very well.

... I appreciate it.

[Looking over, and looking down, at his brother's bowed head makes Sasuke wonder what the Itachi he knew would have done in his place, faced with hesitation and this kind of situation. Taken charge, probably, found more information and hunted for a way to turn things to his advantage if not toward his own survival. Itachi was capable in a way Sasuke never was, doesn't know if he ever will be, and the part of him that had burst forth at the end (but you're perfect) hadn't lied.

This Itachi is young, though, hurts fresh, world turned upside-down. Sasuke has no experience taking care of others in any but the most detached way as the leader of a team, but this is his brother.

He lifts the two thickest blankets off the pile before turning to Itachi again, holding out two corners for him.]

I need your help to get all the blankets in place.

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