piratejournal | [Locked to Spade Pirates, written]

Don't—if you want to practice, it's not a problem. Like I said, the rest of it was fine.

[Looks back up at Natsuno again finally.]

Something different? Sure.

[Natsuno takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. This time he speaks, although he focuses and he's actually speaking Japanese on purpose.]

Riku. Listen to me.

[This time there's no ominous feeling, but there is a vision. Natsuno turns to face him, red eyes, fangs extended. He leaps across the distance, landing in front of him, one knee on either side of his hip as he leans down and makes to bite his neck again, one hand pressing against his chest to keep him from escaping. Riku can move all he likes, but the apparition fades pretty quickly after that.

Natsuno is still sitting there with his eyes closed, although his fangs are extended and he looks a little taxed, sweat sliding down his cheek.]

[The fact that he can still move is appreciated, but as soon as he makes sure that he can it becomes irrelevant anyway. He kind of freezes on his own when Natsuno basically straddles him, and for a second he has no idea what to expect when Natusno leans down.

But, of course, the fangs are out and his eyes are red, so the answer there is kind of obvious even though Riku struggles for a moment to come up with it and make sense of the situation.

His breathing picks up again, not to mention his heartbeat, and by the time the vision fades he's still sitting there drawing in shaky breaths and staring straight ahead blankly.

He blinks after a moment.]

...You make it seem very real.

I could try and come up with a much less creepy scenario...maybe. I kind of have an instinct for it, I think.

[He exhales.]

That's a lot of work though. You okay?

Less creepy?

[He still sounds kind of distracted honestly, but he blinks again and shakes his head a bit. Focus, man.

Right.

That scenario was supposed to freak people out, not—

...

Well.

...Okay, so maybe he's broken or something. But Natsuno doesn't need to know that, so he just nods.]

Yeah. Sure. I'm fine.

I mean for experiment's sake, but all I could think of was something creepy.

[He crosses the distance between them, kneeling in front of him to look into his eyes.]

Your heartbeat was quick again. I thought I was scaring you. Sorry.

[Blinks yet again at Natsuno being right there, and his cheeks flush a little as he leans back an inch or two. His hand comes up to press at his chest, as if he can slow his heartbeat back down again by doing so.]

...You weren't. Doing worry.

[He goes a bit shifty-eyed, a tiny frown on his face.]

That little heartbeat trick of yours is really unfair.

Okay, if you say so.

[Natsuno nods, albeit a bit worried. He tilts his head at Riku's comment.]

Well normally, it's not so bad, just when I have a lot of bloodlust. I've never had this much blood before. I can find humans around me without a problem. It's like a sense. Although, I don't think I can do any more illusions for a little while, they are really tiring.

I can try and tune it out if you want.

[Although it's really beneficial way to keep track of where Riku is. He may have been using it all day.]

[Shakes his head.]

You don't have to do that, I just.

[...Just what, he has no idea what he was going to say there. Really, what does it matter if that's something Natsuno can do? It...shouldn't be a problem. Right?

For whatever reason, his cheeks go a deeper pink. Which is embarrassing. MAYBE NATSUNO WON'T NOTICE.]

Uh. Never mind. You should—I mean, if it's like a sense then don't ignore it. It's fine. I...

[WHAT ARE WORDS. Also, what is wrong with him? And why is Natsuno still right in front of him?]

...Stop giving me that worried look!

[Natsuno can only watch Riku get flustered and worry that he did that to him. He has no idea how he could have done that, except maybe Riku was afraid of his illusions and didn't want to say. He grimaces a little bit, but when Riku takes that accusatory tone, his frown deepens.]

Are you feeling okay?

[He leans forward and places his hand on Riku's forehead to feel his temperature, just in case. Maybe he wasn't feeling well to begin with. He should have said something in that case. He doesn't have a fever, but his heartbeat...]

Look...just take a couple of deep breaths, okay?

[Tenses up and kind of freezes, his eyes going a little wide when Natsuno moves in.]

I told you, I'm fine. Your visions were just. I. They were...unexpected...

[He does what Natsuno says after that, or starts to, but rather than taking a couple deep breaths he takes one and ends up holding it in to shut himself up. Here, Natsuno, have an earnest look while Riku pretends to be okay even though he's not breathing. 8D]

[Riku might say that he's fine, but he doesn't seem fine. He's flustered or upset or something. Now he's stopped breathing. Natsuno is aware now how close he is to Riku and sucks in a breath. Maybe that was the problem. He pulled his hand away from Riku slowly.]

I know it must be hard to forget. What I am, sometimes. Maybe I'm playing human too much. I-I'm sorry.

[He's pretty sure this is the scariest thing he's done, and Kairi, Selphie and now Riku didn't take to it very well. It's a good skill for fighting a battle, but it's also a heavy reminder.

Natsuno puts his hands on the ground, making like he's going to get up and leave Riku to his own devices.]

[Oh geez. He's got it all wrong. Before Riku can even begin to debate whether or not he should just let him leave, he's already moving. He breathes out in a rush and unfreezes, lunging forward to grab Natsuno's wrist.]

Wait, stop. Natsuno. That's not it, that's not what I meant at all.

[His eyes lower, staring hard at the wooden floor of the crow's nest, but he's gripping Natsuno's wrist tightly.]

You didn't do anything wrong. It wasn't you, okay?

[Natsuno is surprised on more than one account. He can't decide if he's more surprised being grabbed, or because Riku used his first name again. Although his memory is a touch hazy from that day, he was sure Riku called him 'Natsuno' then.

He would normally protest, but it doesn't seem all that lighthearted. When Tohru did it, they were usually kidding around, but this felt different. The atmosphere was all wrong for that kind of joke.]

I'm just worried about you. I don't want you to be sick, or scared of me. If you were scared of me, I'm not sure I could...I don't know what I would do. Maybe in the end, I'm the scared one. It's a little pathetic, isn't it? I accused Tohru of not acting like a vampire, and I'm just as bad as he is.

[Gives a low laugh, shaking his head.]

God. I'm not scared of you. I've never been scared of you. I was—wary. At first. But only because I didn't...I didn't know how the whole feeding thing worked and I was afraid Sora would just offer himself up with a straw or something and tell you to drink away. And I didn't know you then. I do now. And I'll keep telling you until you believe it, I don't care that you're a vampire.

[He looks up at him finally, meeting his eyes.]

I'm not scared of you, Natsuno. Not then, not now, and not...even during those visions.

[Natsuno looks relieved, more than anything and he wilts a bit, leaning closer to him in the process. He doesn't really know when he became so invested in what Riku thinks of him, he's not even sure when he shifted from wanting to die to wanting to be accepted. Natsuno has been conflicted for awhile, and this is a little more confusing.]

I know you wanted to protect him. I understand. I'm not...I didn't like the vampires. I couldn't accept them and when I became one, well, you know how I feel about it.

[He exhales and meets Riku's eyes in return.]

I'm glad you weren't scared during my visions. I likely won't be able to do them for much longer and I wouldn't just do them to you anyway without asking.

[Natsuno is very aware that Riku is hanging onto him tightly, but he doesn't care, nor does he try and pull away, but it certainly adds to the intensity of his gaze. He could feel his own heart pounding.]

I know you wouldn't...

[His voice kind of trails off on that last word, and he finds himself holding Natsuno's gaze for longer than is probably necessary.

Honestly, he's relieved Natsuno isn't going to ask just what the heck was going on with him, then, if all that stuff about his heartbeat speeding up had nothing to do with being scared. He still isn't sure he has an answer, but...

Riku's eyes narrow slightly, his stare turning into more of a searching look. Searching for what, he doesn't know, but his eyes run over Natsuno's face, bouncing from feature to feature and there's kind of a warm feeling in his chest and—

Oh.

Realization hits him like a wooden sword to the back of his head, and all at once he's looking away, sitting back slightly and loosening his hold on Natsuno's wrist.

Well.

That's...a thing. That. Is happening.

Apparently.

It's something he'll have to examine more closely later, when he's got time to sort out the jumble his thoughts just became.

For now, he just clears his throat attempts to look casual.]

You, uh. You don't mind that I called you that, by the way...do you? Natsuno?

[All at once, the tension seems to dissipate and he lets out a breath that he didn't realize he'd been holding. There's something electrifying about looking into Riku's eyes.

His heart was beating quickly and he feels a little warm. It's nice and uncomfortable at the same time.

When Riku lets go of his wrist, he can't help but touch it in wonder, subtly. It's the kind of shock that he's not used to and although he's getting more and more of an inkling, he's not entirely sure he wants to go there yet.

Then he opens his mouth again and he's floored. There's something about the way he says his name that's just as intense as the look they just shared and he inwardly curses as head spreads to his cheeks. Riku, hopefully, won't notice that.]

I...

[Natsuno swallows. If he says yes, it's not a lie because he does hate his name, but if he says no, Riku might call him that again.]

I guess I don't mind too much.

Edited 2013-12-10 08:19 (UTC)

[He's still got his head turned, staring in an extremely interested way at...absolutely nothing, so he wouldn't have noticed if Natsuno hadn't hesitated. That pause draws Riku's attention again, though, and when he glances over he does, indeed, notice his flushed cheeks.

He notices it a lot, actually.

Possibly he's even staring.

It's a good look, though.

The corners of Riku's mouth tug upwards, a stupid grin unwillingly forming on his face, and he ends up having to duck his head to hide it.]

Well, then I guess that's what I'm sticking with. [Pause.] Natsuno.

[A shiver passes through him at that and it doesn't do anything to help with the blushing, in fact. Although Riku may be perceptive, he isn't quite as much.

He's not sure if Riku is teasing him or not, but he can't help his own reaction to it. Sometimes, he thinks he's entirely hopeless. There is nothing good about his first name, damn it.]

That's...fine.

[He rubs at his wrist a bit absently, although it's not really a pain signal, just something that's on his mind. It's not even the first time Riku's grabbed his hand or wrist. He did that day too.]

If it gets annoying, just tell me. I'll stop.

[Gets his grin under control before looking up again, and by then the casual act isn't so much an act anymore. He leans back against the side of the crow's next, arms crossed behind his head. Really, he feels much better. The tension's gone -- actually, he feels good. And not awkward. That's always a plus.]

What else can you do when you've just fed? Do you get a lot stronger or anything?

It's fine. I'll let you know.

[Natsuno covers a little cough and takes the subject change for what it is - a way better idea then dwelling on this.]

The illusions are probably because of the amount of blood I've consumed. It's a lot more than usual. The more I drink, the stronger I get, but yes, strength and speed. I don't know about flying, I never tried it. I also feel really...I don't know how to describe it. Good. Really good. I heal faster, also. When I'm getting close to the time I need to feed, I'm only about half as good at that as I usually am. Eventually it would all fade away if I never drank blood again.

Strength, speed, illusions, healing faster, why wouldn't you drink more often? Flying, though...

[Riku sits up a little, dropping his hands into his lap.]

You should try it.

I only mention it because you did it. You know why I don't drink more often.

[Natsuno sighs softly and nudges him lightly on the knee.]

Seriously, I don't even know how I would test that.

[Slight eyeroll.]

Fine, yes, I know. Do you mean the 'turn into a bat' kind of flying, or just...flying?

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