piratejournal | ✓ Journal 1 // written

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✓ Journal 1 // written

[The following is written in what can probably best be described as a flamboyant yet legible chicken scratch.]

Dear Creepy, Enchanted Pirate Diary,

The rhyming and the pirate accent are a nice touch. Very authentic-like.

SO, this was definitely NOT what I was expecting when I woke up this morning. Or what I'd expect waking up any morning, really. But here I am, and here we are, and I have to say, out of some of the potential career options I was considering back home, the idea of turning to piracy definitely has some appeal.

Since apparently I can use this thing to recruit crew members, that's what I'm going to do.

I've already got a captain and a healer and a ship's dog, so I'll be needing a musician, a cook, and maybe a navigator. Also a warrior-type or two, I guess, since Aveline and Fenris didn't have the decency to come along with us.

All applicants please report to Captain Isabela.

Or you can talk to me, I guess.

~☆❤★✶~Love and kisses~✶★❤☆~

-Hawke

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You've always made some jokes, but you rarely have time for people.

[and the two of them have never gotten along.]

That doesn't sound like me at all.

[What are you talking about, Anders, the two of them have been pretty good friends for a while, now!]

[because apparently they've been talking for a while now and we just forgot.]

A lot of things seem different about you.

Yes, I was beginning to get that impression.

[This is weird and dumb. Mostly dumb.]

Were you... flirting with me?

Just a little bit.

You didn't used to mind.

You never used to do that, either.

[he's a little bit pleased, though.]

Clearly there is something very wrong with not-me.

...Are you sure it was me and not Carver? The man you're describing sounds a lot more like Carver than he does like me. Maybe I died and Bethany lived and the twins went to Kirkwall with Mother and Carver started calling himself Hawke, and Bethany renamed the dog.

Does Carver look exactly like you?

You've seen him before, you tell me.

[LALALALALA, BETHANY DIED OUTSIDE LOTHERING, SHE IS NOT STUCK IN THE CIRCLE LIKE ISABELA MENTIONED IN PASSING THAT ONE TIME, LALALALALA]

I've never met him, Hawke.

Look, I know he can be an unpleasant little sot sometimes, but that's no reason to pretend you don't know him.

I don't know him. He-- he died before I could meet him.

[this is not a conversation he wants to have D: ]

[...He would accuse Anders of joking but since when does Anders joke ~~about stuff like this anyway?~~]

...When? How?

While you were fleeing Lothering.

[Hawke is looking at you like he is seriously reevaluating whether or not you've gone crazy, Anders. Seriously?]

Anders, my sister died while we were fleeing Lothering. Carver is alive and well.

[And with the Grey Wardens, oops.]

No. I know your sister. She's definitely alive still, I saw her only a few days ago.

[this is seriously bizarre]

[First Isabela, and now Anders? What is this madness? He does realize Isabela likes to make light of shit and never takes anything seriously, but he's also pretty sure she has enough respect for him not to make light of something as serious as his sister's death. And Anders he knows would never do something like that.

Which means they're telling the truth??? Somehow????

But if he can be a lady rogue or a warrior, why not Bethany having survived in Carver's place?

Or maybe they're both flat out mad.

Or maybe it's just him?

It's probably him, let's face it.

So he gropes for his glass, but it's empty.]

Do you mind if I...?

[He doesn't finish his question or wait for permission (because he knows Anders won't care) before picking up Anders' glass and knocking the entire contents back in one go.]

Of course not.

[He only answers after Hawke has set his now empty glass again, so there's little point in his giving permission, he supposes. But while his thoughts regarding Hawke are still more than a little confused - he claims not to support Templars, but that's not what Anders' memories tell him - he still never disliked him enough not to be sympathetic after news like this.

No one deserves news like this.]

I'm starting to feel as if our memories are being toyed with.

[...Anders...!]

I'm glad it's not just me.

[He manages a weak smile before scrubbing a hand over his face, as if that simple motion might interject some sense back into his world.]

Maker, what a mess.

[not sure what to do, Anders places a hand on top of Hawke's arm, squeezing gently.]

It means we don't actually know whose memories are correct.

[It could still be Hawke's memories.]

No, but if that's how it is then it also means some of our memories are wrong.

[And okay, yes, he was definitely closer to Bethany than he is to Carver, but if it came down to a choice between the two, how could he pick just one? He couldn't. And that's only to start.

Anders' hand on his arm is steadying, though, and it feels good. He brushes his fingertips over Anders' knuckles, his smile returning a bit stronger than before.]

Talking about the past isn't getting us anywhere. Why don't we worry about the present, instead?

[Well.

He'll just keep his hand there a moment longer, then, since Hawke seems to appreciate it. Huh.]

That sounds like a better plan. There's enough to occupy us here.

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✓ Journal 1 // written

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