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sanji

[017 || Voice]

[It's getting to be late in the evening when Sanji opens his journal, and for a moment there's only silence. When he speaks, his voice is low, almost like he's talking to himself more than anything.]

Seems like the shitty end is in sight... Feels like it, anyway. Like it won't be much longer.

[He falls quiet again for a beat or two, and then there's a soft exhale before his tone shifts a bit and he becomes more direct.]

We're heading to Isla Empieza. As soon as Meep has a path for us to take, we're going in.

Guess we'll see the rest of you idiots there?

[Action option: He's in the galley, chair tipped back as he sits at the table and stares up at the ceiling with nothing but an overflowing ashtray in front of him and a cigarette dangling from the corner of his mouth.]

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[Frowns a little, then downs the rest of his drink and sets the glass heavily back onto the table.]

I know that. But knowing we ain't gonna remember it doesn't make it any easier to let it go.

What says we have to?

[oh look, you're out of booze. Let's fix that.]

Let's keep going, right until the end. Make this damn world take it from us by force. I don't give up, not even on things like this.

[his voice is low and calm but his eye betrays what he really feels. There's a passion burning there, and he's adamant about not giving it up - not out of habit, but because it's what he wants.]

It's not giving up.

[Drops his gaze as he drags his finger around the rim of the glass.]

It's being prepared. Look, I'll fight right there with you, I ain't just gonna let things go down however that asshole wants, but I think...it's one thing to beat him. Don't doubt we can do that. We're gonna get home somehow, marimo, one way or another. But.

[He's silent for a minute, before he scowls and pushes a hand back into his hair.]

Fuck, I dunno, I guess it is a shitty moot point. If we remember, great. If we don't, we'll never know the goddamn difference.

Do you think I don't want to remember?

[he sets his own glass down and looks away. Feelings are still hard, it's only been a couple of months since he accepted that he has any.]

I want to. I want everything...but I'm a realist. We might not get what we want. If it gets ripped out of our hands at the last second as payment for being able to go back and live our lives like we were supposed to...

[he grimaces. It hurts to say so.]

Then so be it. I won't grieve. But somewhere deep down I feel like it's not impossible. Like...I don't know. Who's to say this wasn't just practice, and we'll do it again for real?

[Shakes his head even before Zoro finishes talking.]

Don't misunderstand me, I'm not trying to fix it, or hoping there's a way out, or thinking it's not as important to you. I'm just... It sucks, right? And maybe it's not impossible for it to happen again...

[Though, honestly, he's not sure about that. Good luck, Zoro, you've got your work cut out for you with Sanji-from-after-that-fucking-Hell-island. He kind of wishes he could find that version of himself and kick him in the head and tell him not to be so damn uptight about some things. That feeling one way or another doesn't have to mean those shitty okama were right about him. And maybe he should give certain green-haired idiots a chance. Not be such a huge dick to them.

He reaches for his glass again, taking another healthy gulp.]

Maybe it's not impossible, but it'll still be different. It won't be this, this will be gone, and I guess...

[Ugh. Words. Feelings. Expressing himself.

He mouth twists a bit, but eventually he just huffs out a breath and spits it out.]

I'm sad about it, alright? It's a fucking shit deal, and I'm... [Squints a little at nothing in particular.] I'm proactively missing it. What we had. Have.

[That's a thing, right? Sure. Why not.]

I know.

[He does. He really, really does. The pain starts to creep into his voice, so he lowers his volume and the depth of it as if to sort of mask it. It just makes him sound even more raw.]

It sucks and I hate it more than anything in the world. I don't even have words for it. But...what's the point in mourning something that isn't gone yet? That's just not my way.

[He gets, though, that others aren't the same as him. So he reaches a hand out, offering to pull Sanji up to where he's sitting on the corner of the table, or himself down to share that chair, whichever feels most natural to them.]

You know I hate to see you in any kind of pain.

I ain't mourning. [Mutters a bit.] Not like I've been moping around here, it just kinda hit me hard tonight. Dunno why. I'm fine, though. ...Mostly.

[Gives a small shake of his head and lets his hand fall from his hair as he heaves a sigh.

Then Zoro reaches for him and Sanji, for a moment, doesn't really react. Just sort of stares at Zoro's hand for a beat. But then there's a burst of movement as Sanji takes the offered hand and hauls himself up, planting one knee on the table and sliding up behind Zoro. His other leg brackets Zoro's side and both arms find themselves wrapped around his waist as he buries his face against the back of Zoro's shoulder. His glass ends up pushed out of the way, forgotten, and he just stays there like that, eyes squeezing shut.]

I'm fine. [Repeating himself. Doesn't care.] I'm not in any kind of shitty pain, you don't gotta worry about it, I just hate this.

[...That comes out perhaps a little more roughly than he'd intended.]

[ooh, well that was fast. A move like that still flusters him, but in a good way. Sanji's weight against his back is comfortable, his warmth familiar. He wakes up every morning to this, and knowing that there's a ticking time limit on getting to enjoy it - getting to remember that he enjoys it - is enough to crack his stoic too-smart-for-this shell for a moment.]

Yeah, sure you are.

[he bends one arm to reach over his shoulder and thread his fingers into soft blond hair, while the other covers the arms wrapped around his middle.]

M'right there with you, cook.

[He doesn't move for a long moment, aside from letting his head tip into Zoro's hand as it runs through his hair. His arms remain tight around Zoro's waist, but eventually...slowly, he starts to loosen up. Get himself under control.

Geez, it ain't over yet.

He exhales, long and low, then pulls his face away from Zoro's back only to rest his chin on top of Zoro's shoulder instead, in order to stay pressed close to him.]

...Sorry. [Mumbled.] Didn't mean to become an emotional shit all of a sudden.

Nah, it's okay. [ooh, and in this position, now he can reach back all the way to really give Sanji's hair a good, affectionate scuff] It's not like you're wrong.

[he just can't express things the way the cook can, so if anything, he admires that he can be so emotional. Feel for the both of them, Sanji. Someday he'll learn, maybe.]

We just gotta enjoy it every second that we can. Don't know how much longer we'll get, so we may as well live every minute like it's the last.

[Nods a little. He certainly plans on enjoying it... Though some part of him wishes he didn't have it on his mind at all. Maybe in cases like this, it's better to be blissfully unaware that it might all be on the verge of coming to an abrupt end.

But who knows, maybe they'll be surprised. When they go back... Sanji grins a bit.]

Can you imagine if we remembered? I think half the crew might shit themselves.

[turns to look at the face next to his]

Luffy's the only one who really knows...

[which means within seconds, everyone would know. So much for keeping it between themselves if they remembered.]

Who knows, maybe it's like...a type of muscle memory. It'll be buried deep, we won't even know it, but the right circumstance and it all comes back. [he gestures with his chin toward the swords sitting against one of the other chairs since he totally put them there before sitting down shut up] That's why I'm leaving the ring tied to Shuusui, so it comes with us.

[Chuckles.]

Nah, Robin-chan does, too.

[But still, yeah, word would spread pretty quickly.

He glances across at the swords, thinking about his own ring that's currently pressed against his chest as he leans into Zoro.]

I won't take mine off either... But last time, I don't think I showed up back home in the clothes I had on here.

[Whatever, though. WHATEVER. Stop thinking negatively. Maybe there's a chance, so 'maybe' is what he'll cling to. He tightens his arms, giving Zoro a squeeze.]

I'll get the damn thing home through sheer willpower if I have to.

...oh, right.

[he usually thinks in terms of who would see them if they crawled into each other's bunks, but he does remember that. At least Robin is discreet. Luffy, not so much.

He moves his hand down to drape over Sanji's knee and give it a little squeeze.]

It might be different, this time. We get the choice to go, so who knows. But I ain't gonna dwell on it. We still got it all, for now and for as long as it takes.

[Might be different. Maybe, maybe, maybe. Sanji would really love to have some actual answers about what's going to happen to them, but he knows that's not gonna happen. So he's not going to say anything else about it, just swallows up all that shitty negativity and tries to take a page out of Zoro's book.]

Now and for as long as it takes...

[Murmured, as he moves a hand and dips it beneath Zoro's haramaki.]

So we should live in the now, eh?

[he glances at the face near his shoulder again, starting to smirk. That's right, cook, take a page from him indeed. He knows what's what.]

Damn right we should.

[And right now, it's late, it's dark, and the ship is mostly asleep around them. They're in the galley, which doesn't have a lock but does have chairs that can be shoved under the door handle. They've done it before...

He moves to brush his lips across Sanji's conveniently-located cheek, wanting more but damn this awkward position. Perfect for letting the cook explore and fondle, terrible for kissing. Zoro lets it go on for a bit, first, he can reposition anytime. He'd rather let Sanji touch him for a while.]

[Lets out a soft hum, turning his head until he can catch Zoro's lips in a brief kiss. But yeah, the angle is a little awkward, so he breaks it off to look down at what his hands are doing, allowing Zoro to go back to brushing his lips over Sanji's cheek.

Meanwhile, he pushes that haramaki up and out of the way, giving himself more room to trail his fingers over the contours of Zoro's abs. Up towards his chest until he reaches the haramaki again, then back down, letting one hand slide just under the top of his pants. His other hand reaches for the edge of Zoro's shirt, like he's going to tug it off his shoulder.]

Off.

[No words, just a soft growl in reply. Zoro leans forward enough to wrestle the shirt off his shoulder (just the one, you know) and let it fall off, and then tugs off the haramaki while he's at it. No matter how much it's in his way, these days, he's never going to stop wearing it, so...

Hopefully all that wriggling hasn't dislodged Sanji's hands from where they are, because they're in a very good place. Zoro settles back with a sigh, flinging his discarded clothes onto the floor.]

Your poor kitchen.

[said wryly, with all the smirk in the world behind it. Bless this kitchen, it's seen so much of their relationship, might as well christen it one last time.]

Think it's used to it by now.

[His hands are most definitely not dislodged, one still dipping into Zoro's pants and the other roaming eagerly over his chest now that shitty clothing articles are out of the way. He trails down Zoro's scar and then back up again, brushing a thumb over the man's nipple. Farther down, he just idly strokes at the softer skin just out of sight on Zoro's abdomen.

Sanji ducks his head down, pressing a line of kisses to the back of Zoro's shoulder, his goatee dragging against him. He pulls his hand out of Zoro's pants -- but only so that he can undo the clasp on them and get them open.]

Mmmh...yeah. We've done a lot in this kitchen.

[fight, make up, make out, bend one another over this table...

Though as he thinks about it, Zoro only got to receive that wonderful treatment, he hasn't given back. Yet. Might have to work that into tonight's plans. First, though, he takes a deep breath and lets it out with a soft groan, content to let Sanji worship him with hands and lips. The beard-scratch on his unblemished back, the fingertips on his scar, the cook really does know all of his favorite things in his favorite spots. He'll have to return that favor, too.

He doesn't want to get in the way, but he does drop one hand to help yank his pants further open, and then slides both palms down the thighs resting on either side of his.]

[Yes, good, way to be helpful, marimo. Sanji's quick to take advantage of those open pants and slides his hand back into them, curling around Zoro and stroking slowly. Lazily.

He moves back across Zoro's shoulder until he can nose behind his ear, then sucks and nips at the skin on his neck. It's really easy to get lost in just feeling Zoro. The flesh in his hand, the hard muscles under his other palm. Fuck, he loves knowing how much power and strength is packed away in the body pressed against him.

Sanji gives him a squeeze with the leg bracketing Zoro's, hips rolling slightly forward as he does.]

[there's a long, heavy sigh at the nice, slow pace already starting, and Zoro drops his head and closes his eye to feel everything Sanji wants to do to him. His hand on the thigh beside his begins to run up and down the length at the same pace, the heel of his palm digging in a bit to massage as caresses. The other just clings where it is, squeezing and holding tight as something Sanji does - maybe just the glance of a fingertip, or the right spot it finds - sends a quick jolt through him.

He lets it go on for a while before raising his hand and shooting the cook a glance over his shoulder]

You want anything special...?

[getting it out of the way before they get too carried away to make words a thing]

[Lets out a low, content sound against Zoro's neck as that hand massages his leg.]

Mm...anything. You.

[Stretches forward to catch Zoro's lips in another awkward-angled kiss, tightening his fingers around him at the same time and stroking him firmly from base to tip.]

What do you want?

[growls right into that kiss, at that move. Geez, cook. Using all your best moves right away...]

I ain't gonna stop you from doing what you're doing. But I want you, too.

[there's only so much he can reach in that position, but damn if he isn't perfectly content letting Sanji have his way with him, for as long as he wants. His left hand drifts all the way up Sanji's thigh and manages to sneak around just enough to find his ass, and give it a rub as well.]

[Grunts at that, leaning in to kiss him again. Deeper this time, though it's still a pretty short kiss. It's the way they're positioned and as much as Sanji likes it, he wants easier access to Zoro. All of him, and he wants to feel the man pressed against himself, muscles and skin and all, and—

He breaks away and gives him a quick shove, scooting backwards on the table himself to put some space between them.]

Block the door or something, marimo.

[Sanji's hands are already on his shirt buttons, quickly undoing them and then shrugging the whole thing off his shoulders. He toes off his shoes at the same time, so he's left in just his loosened tie that he forgot to remove and his pants.]

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