piratejournal | [013 || Written]

Dear magic diary that the entire world can read, so no, I shan't be writing down my innermost thoughts, you great dirty wanker,

I'm bored. I've exhausted my supply of spellbooks and I think if I see the words 'Defense', 'Dark' or 'Arts' again in the near future, I shall blast them straight from the page. Or hex the person's mouth shut who dared to say them in my presence.

I believe it might be time to check with Miss Margie again to see if she has anything more advanced available. Or at the very least, perhaps I should see about setting up a potions lab onboard. I'm dreadfully behind in that subject, which is utter bollocks considering it's the best one. I don't know that I'd be able to keep a readily available stash of supplies here, though. And probably working with potions on a wooden ship isn't the brightest idea.

Alas.

It's unfortunate that being able to Apparate isn't entirely useful in this world. I'm going to ask my mother to teach me anyway. It'll save me having to take a long trip from my quarters to the galley, in any case.

Potter disappeared again awhile back, I don't believe I mentioned it. Though none of you care, and you're right not to, because he's a tit.

Sasuke is gone now, too. And Itachi. I've no one to confuse with my chocolate frogs anymore.

Is that bloke with the dragon still here? I don't think I ever actually spoke to him, but Sasuke drew a picture of the dragon once. Even though it looked like a bug. Dragons in my world are generally quite vicious, so if that one is still here and hasn't yet set fire to the ship it's sailing on, that's really very interesting.

I'd like to see him.

- Draco Malfoy

P.S. Did anyone kill that Corpse King nutter?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I come from a very different world, okay? We don't have words like that!

Well. Artist interpretations are like that. But Toothless does have big eyes– he can be very ferocious when he needs to.

[As he listens some more, he remembers something.]

Wait a minute, I think you did! Except you were growling and farting in my general direction.

[Whatever else he might've said gets swept away by that last sentence.

Instead, he just gapes at his journal.]

Growling and— Excuse you, I was doing no such thing! I would never—wait.

[Oh no.

He groans.]

Was this when that whole...bodies being stolen by others debacle was going on?

Y...yeah. Exactly that one time. With the body-switching.

At least you still had the ability to talk. You know how hard it was to communicate through dragon-speak?

What the bloody hell do I care if i still had the ability to talk, that rubber git was running amok in my body, ruining me—

[Sudden pause.]

...

I'm sorry, did you say dragon-speak? You switched places with your toothless dragon??

Um. Yeah.

[He shrugs all willy-nilly, but that can't be seen.]

That's it! That's what happened.

Well. That's just not fair at all. Do you know, I was transformed into a ferret once. A dragon has to be much cooler, at least.

But to answer your question, yes, I can imagine how difficult it must be to communicate through dragon-speak.

What, really? A ferret?

...I'm sorry, I'm curious: why a ferret?

It wasn't on purpose. Obviously I wouldn't choose to be a bloody ferret, a spell was cast on me without my permission! By a dodgy bloke who was impersonating one of my professors, no less.

[Yep. 8|]

No, of course not, you don't seem the type. But a spell? Oh man, no, that's not cool.

[Turtle-speak has affected him a lot too, so there's that.]

It was extremely unprofessional, yes. But like I said: impersonator. Polyjuice Potion, you know. Turns out he was trying to help raise the Dark Lord, so. That was a thing.

...

But yes! A spell. They're perfectly common where I'm from. Although generally you would want to check with a person before turning them into a rodent.

Polyjuice...impersonation...huh. I've only heard about them back home, but I never really saw any spells done. Permission's usually a good thing! Unless people wanna be rude about it, they won't say what they're doing until it's too late.

Raise the Dark Lord? Who is that?

Really? Perhaps I can show you some. I want to come look at your dragons anyway, I don't mind showing off a bit of magic while I"m there.

[Doesn't mind at alllll.]

...The Dark Lord? Er, well. Someone my father used to work for. Or does work for, I suppose. ...We shouldn't talk about him.

Sure! If we get to the island, or wherever we go to.

Ah. Got it. He doesn't sound like discussion material.

They don't even say his name out loud where I'm from, actually. So, no. Not really discussion material.

But anyway, yes, dragons! My name means dragon, you know. In Latin. Do you know which island you're going to?

[Unseen, he nods, making that little noise of agreement.]

Yeah! Dragons! And hey, that's awesome. Um...not sure where we're headed yet, but I'll check in with the captain.

Cheers. As long as it's not somewhere completely terrible, I'll pop over. What's your name again?

Sure thing! Hopefully we had our fill of weird places. And...uhm. I'm Hiccup.

...

[He can't be serious. And he probably gets it all the time, but Draco can't stop himself.]

Hiccup? What the bloody hell kind of name is that?

[Eye-rolling SO HARD.]

I kn– can't you at least pretend it's not that horrible???

It is, though. I mean, it's really terrible.

[He sounds a little amused now. Maybe even a bit gleeful.]

You're named after an involuntary diaphragm spasm. A funny sound people make! Where did that even come from?

I dunno, my parents named me! I didn't have control over that part.

I do admit I'm a little on the thin side, but still!

You could always change it. Unless that's not a thing you can do where you're from.

What's your middle name? Cough, perhaps? Hiccup Coughing Sneeze. The third. It has a nice ring to it.

...You know, we don't have to meet.

[This is said flatly, but he does continue after a moment.]

If you really have to know, it's Horrendous.

Oh alright, mate, I'm only taking the mickey out of you, don't get your knickers in a twist. Look, it can't be any more horrendous than Hiccup is. Just tell me.

No, my middle name – it really is Horrendous.

[Voice]

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