piratejournal | 1st Secret [Voice]

[After examining the journal she received, Cinderella realized that it could some how play and record audio messages. Which is just fine with her since she doesn't feel like writing anything down. She's way too annoyed for that and she certainly sounds the part.]

Whoever took me from the airport and dropped me in the middle of what looks like the set of a pirate movie, I'm going to hunt down and shove my high heel up their ass. At least they could've brought my luggage with me! How do they expect a girl to survive with out her Versace, Prada, or Gucci!? [Not to mention her spare gun, knife, and extra ammo that were enchanted so that TSA would ignore them were in there. Those would have been very handy in this place.]

If I end up missing Fashion Week in Milan I'm going to be extra pissed. [Well really, she was just starting a mission but no one needs to know that. Still, it will cause a huge mess back home if she were to go missing before she even starts.] I'm a busy woman, so I don't have time for this crap.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Well, she's about to burst your bubble Jesse. Sorry about that!]

It's been a long time since I've been out to New Mexico...

By the way, I'm Cinderella.

[There is the distinct sound of choking, then coughing.]

What now?

[She gives a bit of a chuckle.]

Sorry to burst your bubble about meeting someone normal here, but I'm Cinderella.

Like- glass slipper, fairy godmother, singing mice? That Cinderella? You've gotta be kidding me. That's- goddamn. That's just freakin' amazing. What're you doin' in Manhattan? Shouldn't you be in, like, Disneyland or some shit?

Yes, minus the singing mice. Those guys couldn't carry a tune to save their lives.

And I am soooo not a Disney Princess. That company decided they liked my tale and ran with it like most other Mundane story writers. Though they tend to leave out the realistic details.

Well... damn. I guess they say fairy tales aren't real, but... wow. That's kinda a harsh reminder.

...But there were mice? [He sounds hopeful.]

Yes, there were mice, and they even talked too. Just don't ask them to hum a few bars. Your ears may regret it.

[At that he laughs.]

Y'know, you're funny. You wouldn't expect the name 'Cinderella' and the concept of a funny chick to go together, but you pull it off. Guess the story really doesn't tell it all, does it?

Far from it. They left out the part where Prince Charming is a cheating bastard and I ended up divorcing him.

Oh, ouch. That sucks. Though you gotta figure, someone who picks their soulmate based on shoe size probably isn't gonna have much staying power.

You got to figure I shouldn't have married a guy who had two failed marriages already.

No waaaaaaaaaaaay. Two? [He sounds like someone dishing on a celebrity.] That's nuts. Not so charming after all, huh?

Yes way. [It's kind of fun to hear this kind of reaction without having to worry about being viewed as a crazy person.] Ever noticed how in your stories that Snow White and the Sleeping Beauty were also married to "Prince Charming?"

But he is very charming so that part is true. In fact, he's too charming. The jackass doesn't know when to turn off the charm.

You mean it was all the same guy? That's wild! All traipsing around the countryside and kissing sleeping chicks and trying shoes on feet and... kissing more sleeping chicks...

Now that I think about it, that's creepy as hell.

It is pretty creepy once you put it that way.

Good thing you ditched 'im, then!

I mean, I guess a lot of fairy tales are creepy once you really look at them... but kids don't think that way. That's what's good about bein' a kid.

And imagine, the stories you've heard don't have all the details.