piratejournal | [written]

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[written]

[private to Howling Sabers]

Murderess: two points.

1. There is a lot of talk about this Navy ball in the Corsair Kingdom. I believe it would be a good opportunity to gather information, or at least listen to what is being said within the Navy. Who among you can handle subterfuge?

2. We are running low on everything except what we can catch or collect in buckets. We're nowhere close to Empieza and restocking yet. Be careful with what you take from the stores, or I'll start requiring shared meals crew-wide.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[GOD ALWAYS GOT TO RUIN HIS PARADE.]

Don't be more of an asshole just because everybody else thinks you should be captain, y'know. I'm better at subterfuge than you think.

[THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR PARADING]

I'm just being practical. You stick out even when you're not trying. When was the last time you were given a spying mission?

Kinda been busy with other stuff.

When was the last time you had to collect information at all?

I do it all the time during a fight.

The point this time is not to fight.

It's not like I go around starting crap all the time. That's more like you!

I don't "start crap" without a reason. [Mostly.] Anyway, the point still stands that you're not subtle.

Psh, whatever. You just don't want me goin' because I'll show you up or something.

Or because you'll start trouble even before trouble starts.

In any case, we'll be shorthanded on the ship if you insist on attending the ball.

We don't have to be shorthanded. I can just make a buncha clones. Easy.

[That's irritatingly entirely true, and Naruto probably has the chakra to maintain it even here, but ...

... wait.]

Do you still do that stupid jutsu where you turn into a woman?

It's NOT a stupid jutsu, goddammit! It's worked SO MANY TIMES and nobody EVER sees it coming.

YES, I still do it.

Nobody ever sees it coming because no one expects something so stupid to actually happen.

Still, it might be useful to us. Go as L-Elf's date.

What? Hell no. I'm not going to the thing with a guy. Plus, that dude is weird.

You're the last person to be able to call someone weird.

Anyway, we need someone social to go with him and cover while he observes. Luka has already made plans, so that leaves you.

This is gonna be the most boring ball ever. I should get like... extra food for this sorta crap deal, y'know.

You can eat whatever you want; I don't care.

You're assuming he's willing to take this crap deal. [As much of a bright idea Sasuke thought this was at first, he's actually imagining Naruto and L-Elf spending any extended amount of time with each other and starting to reconsider.]

Not my problem if he doesn't.

[Money has never been a concern to Sasuke before this, but the ugly surprise he'd gotten from their food stores has made him thoughtful enough to look at what other ships are doing -- which is the only reason he spends a moment in thought before this:]

Or we could sell you to other crews in need of dates. You can make unlimited versions of yourself in that stupid jutsu.

[Man, that sounds... terrible. It sounds exactly like an idea Jiraiya had once, and like hell is Naruto going along with that.]

Hell no. Nope. Not doin' that at all. Screw that.

[You ain't no damn pimp, Sasuke.]

Everyone has to pay their way somehow.

[But even Sasuke can understand that that idea might inspire some distaste, so he adds:]

It's not like there aren't people who do something like that here already. You wouldn't be the first person to charge for company.

I'M NOT DOING IT. END OF STORY. THAT'S THE DUMBEST IDEA EVER.

It would be the first time that dumb jutsu wasn't used for a dumb purpose.

You're a dumb purpose.

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