[Accompanying this voice post is the sound of waves rolling into the shore, a little wind, and something creaking every once in awhile.]

Hey so 's been awhile since I checked up on this thing. Y'all don't make as much noise as y' used t', know that? Everybody jus' get sick a each other or we all gone t' hell knows where? Anyway I was jus' hangin' out here... think I'm somewhere Noreast a Empieza... an' I got t' wondrin', like. Why the hell people gotta leave their shit all over in the ocean, y' know? Like, y' got some fishin' wire or some shit, a whole spool a the damn stuff. Jus' gonna like unwind it an' drop it all in the sea like haha shit that was a fun waste a dubloons or somethin'? 'S that a thing people actually do?

[There's some sound of an attempted movement, and more creaking, and a slightly pained grunt. Then a sigh.]

Anyway uh. If anyone's out an' 'round, maybe do me a solid an' keep an eye out for a dumbass tree that looks like it grew a fishman 'stead a coconuts. Cuuuuz that'd prob'ly be me.

Hangin'.

Fishin' lines're possessed a evil I'm tellin' y' an' don't none a y'all forget it!

[For any who happen to be sailing in the Northeast, it will indeed be possible to see a large palm tree grown out over the ocean near some deserted island, with a tangled up fishman hanging upside down from its thick trunk.]

[..... help?]