♥ 001

[cherrybombpie]

[text]

[Flowing, almost archaic script starts to inundate the page.]

Dearest Brother,

I do not know if you will ever receive this letter. All I know is that I have been spirited away to this dastardly, horrid, menacing, troubling, and mysterious place known as Isla Empieza. I am very much afraid – who knows what the people here would do to a young maiden such as myself? Oh, oh, my dearest brother, my virtue is at stake – you must come at once! If I die here, I will come back to haunt you and you will never hear the end of it, so I suggest that you come and fetch me at this very moment! One such man asked me my name, and I threw him off the dock. I am truly helpless, waif-like, and defenseless, and I need your aid!

Please, also let my darling fiance Ranma-sama know that I am longing for him. I will simply not entertain thoughts of any other until I find myself in his arms once more. I know how he grieves, but console him, my dearest sibling. How he must pine for me – it is unthinkable.

Brother, I will put this letter in a bottle and hope that it reaches you. I will perhaps ask a turtle to bear it for me. When you receive this, please come and rescue me!

Love,
The Star of Hope of the Gymnast World
The Black Rose
Your Beloved Sister
Kodachi



[voice]

[Some time later . . .]

I can't rip the page out! I've been trying for hours! It just . . . flies back into the journal . . . !!! Magic exists, but only to taunt me! The fates are against me! I'll never be rescued now!

[Cue shrieks, wails, and sobs. When sorrows come, they come not single spies but in battalions.]

Comments

voice

[cherrybombpie]

Don't you have a nose? [You're so weird.] It would be odd if you walked your nose.

If you don't like every bit of her. If you do, it's simply acceptable to say that she's beautiful, wonderful, and so on, and so forth!

Why didn't she? If I were called strong, I would be very pleased indeed.

[That's because she is. Nothing compared to the Wan Pisu cast, of course, but she's got her own thing going on.]

voice

[allendsmeat]

Yeah but noses are different and maybe someone has a nose they can take off! Also noses run. shishishishi

[he made a pun on purpose that worked! He's just gonna be proud of that a moment]

I dunno. Kai's weird. I dunno if she's beautiful or not or wonderful but... I don't think I can date her anyway. She'd just throw things at me. Maybe I should just start with guys until I get the hang of it.

voice

[cherrybombpie]

Yes, they do. [She's impressed with the pun! Congratulations!]

We were just speaking about compliments, and now you bring up dating! You must like this Kai person!

Men are easier to compliment, I believe, but I have no idea how it is when a man dates another man. I suppose you'll just have to find out for yourself.

voice

[allendsmeat]

She's my friend. Don't you have to compliment someone to date them and do flowers and stuff like that? Except guys don't like flowers. Well Sanji didn't. Maybe Zoro might but I don't think he's interested in that kind of thing.

It's all pretty complicated. [he doesn't get it at all. He can't even remember why he wants to in the first place but he does. But then! He smacks his fist into his palm. She seems pretty smart about this kind of thing so...]


You wanna go on a date? I can give you a flower! I gotta find one first but I'll make sure it's a big one.

voice

[cherrybombpie]

Yes, you do, but you must mean it. Men like other things, like cookies! If you give a man cookies you will be sure to win his heart.

[Did you just - ]

A date? You're asking me on a date?!

[Oh no. Oh no!!!]

[THE TORMENT!!!]

[She has a fiance kinda but . . . an actual date . . . she's never been on a date before . . . do the ones where she kidnaps Ranma count???]

[SHE IS HAVING A SERIOUS DILEMMA HERE.]

I . . .

[AND THEN SHE BURSTS OUT CRYING GOOD JOB LUFFY.]

I was kidnapped and then now I'm asked on a date! Oh! Will I be sad because I'm wrested from my home or happy that one has deigned to take me out on a date? I can't decide!!! [1st world problems.]

voice

[allendsmeat]

You should decide to do one with me! It'll be fun! [he's not exactly sure what happens on one but he's excited that she seems to want to!]

voice

[cherrybombpie]

[BOO HOO HOO SOB SOB WAIL]

But - but . . .

I'm betrothed! [except not really]

Do you think . . . [Sniff!] Perhaps we could go on a date but not fall in love? [That's obviously the easy way out, right?]

voice

[allendsmeat]

[he doesn't know what that means really but okay. He's not sure how you go about falling in love but he's not interested in that kind of thing right now]

Sure! Let's do it!

voice

[cherrybombpie]

Oh!

[A watery sniffle! She's so glad that you understand, Luffy. Except not but it works anyway.]

A-Alright, then!

Once I've . . . understood the nature of my kidnapping and have plotted my revenge . . . I will go on a date with you.

[Oh, my. Developments.]

voice

[allendsmeat]

hahaha okay! Oh but you were kidnapped cuz of the ghost guy probably and we're all gonna go kick his ass after we get the shard things.

[nodnod]

FRAGILE PRINCESS INCOMING [Voice]

[delicate_maiden]

[Okay, maybe she shouldn't be eavesdropping on her captain, but COME ON.]

What he said was "I'm not good at lying but you're pretty strong." I'm sure that you can understand as a fellow lady that after previously receiving the "compliment" of "I think it's good that you're not that annoying," it's understandable that I'd be A LITTLE PUT OUT ABOUT IT.

welcome to the fragile princess association! [Voice]

[cherrybombpie]

You must be "Kai"!

Why not use your strength to take revenge, then?

[Voice]

[delicate_maiden]

I threw a barrel at him, so...

[It wasn't exactly the most ladylike way to handle it.]

I think I lost my temper a little.

[Voice]

[cherrybombpie]

[She approves.]

A true lady's temper is a fearsome thing to behold.

[Voice]

[delicate_maiden]

It sure is! I'm glad someone understands! If no one is around to defend our honor, we have to do it ourselves, right?

[Voice]

[cherrybombpie]

Precisely.

However, if someone is there to do it for us . . .

Ohohohohoho. ♥

[Voice]

[delicate_maiden]

It's best that way, isn't it? A handsome, dashing man standing up for your honor...

[No one else seems to understand when she explains the appeal. Except maybe Selphie and Anise, but she's still not quite sure they're all coming from the same place when they talk about men.]

[Voice]

[cherrybombpie]

[WHAT?! How could someone fail to fathom the beauty of a knight in shining armor? A maiden's true dream!!]

Perhaps you already have a handsome prince or knight defending you?

[Voice]

[allendsmeat]

Well it is good! I mean you're kind of annoying but you can't help that but I like you so you're not that annoying. [he doesn't get you]

[Voice]

[delicate_maiden]

Do you really wanna start this again?

[There are a lot of barrels.]

[Voice]

[allendsmeat]

Why does it make you so mad? [they need those barrels in case they come across a whirlpool!]

[Voice]

[delicate_maiden]

[Kodachi told her it's okay, so it's okay.]

Because "not that annoying" isn't a compliment, it's an insult! Especially when you start out saying that I'm "kind of annoying!" I'm not annoying at all!

: [Voice]

[allendsmeat]

You're annoying to me, though. But not that annoying I still like you. [puff] It's okay.

[Voice]

[delicate_maiden]

[You can probably hear the scream of frustration from anywhere on the ship, but luckily she didn't punch the wall hard enough to do any damage to the boat or herself.]

[Voice]

[allendsmeat]

[siiigh. Kai is really hard sometimes]