♥ 001

[cherrybombpie]

[text]

[Flowing, almost archaic script starts to inundate the page.]

Dearest Brother,

I do not know if you will ever receive this letter. All I know is that I have been spirited away to this dastardly, horrid, menacing, troubling, and mysterious place known as Isla Empieza. I am very much afraid – who knows what the people here would do to a young maiden such as myself? Oh, oh, my dearest brother, my virtue is at stake – you must come at once! If I die here, I will come back to haunt you and you will never hear the end of it, so I suggest that you come and fetch me at this very moment! One such man asked me my name, and I threw him off the dock. I am truly helpless, waif-like, and defenseless, and I need your aid!

Please, also let my darling fiance Ranma-sama know that I am longing for him. I will simply not entertain thoughts of any other until I find myself in his arms once more. I know how he grieves, but console him, my dearest sibling. How he must pine for me – it is unthinkable.

Brother, I will put this letter in a bottle and hope that it reaches you. I will perhaps ask a turtle to bear it for me. When you receive this, please come and rescue me!

Love,
The Star of Hope of the Gymnast World
The Black Rose
Your Beloved Sister
Kodachi



[voice]

[Some time later . . .]

I can't rip the page out! I've been trying for hours! It just . . . flies back into the journal . . . !!! Magic exists, but only to taunt me! The fates are against me! I'll never be rescued now!

[Cue shrieks, wails, and sobs. When sorrows come, they come not single spies but in battalions.]

Comments

[voice]

[cherrybombpie]

You could have told me gently! I'm a delicate creature!

If you're not a human, are you a ghost?

[voice]

[nephilimduke]

I really don't care if you are or not.

Why would you think I'm a ghost? I'm a demon.

[voice]

[cherrybombpie]

Then why bother speaking to me if you're going to be so callous about a girl's feelings? Stop talking altogether if you won't be courteous, gallant, or at the very least useful.

A malevolent spirit! It is no wonder you are so rude!

[voice]

[nephilimduke]

Because I'm bored. If you want someone who cares to be tactful, try to find Solomon, he's the one who's good at that.

There are many demons that are much ruder than I am, just so you know.

[voice]

[cherrybombpie]

Go and alleviate your boredom on other unsuspecting girls - I won't have any of it!

I have no desire to meet them, either!

[voice]

[nephilimduke]

You seem like a good target, and you're currently available.

You haven't actually met me.

[voice]

[cherrybombpie]

Are you a pervert that preys on young women?

I can't imagine that it would be any more illuminating than our current conversation.

[voice]

[nephilimduke]

No. Why?

Probably not.

[voice]

[cherrybombpie]

I would have exposed you to the world if you were.

As it is, if you have nothing else of value to say, leave a poor girl in peace!

[voice]

[nephilimduke]

Oh, how terrifying. [ except not ]

When I find something else to entertain myself with.

[voice]

[cherrybombpie]

You should be terrified. No one would ever speak to you ever again.

Go away! You're so useless!

[The sound of her slamming the journal shut. Be quiet, you infernal demon!]

Re: [voice]

[nephilimduke]

Yeah I think I'd managed. [ though he wouldn't, he hates being lonely. ]

I'm not at all useless.

[ ignoring that. ]

[voice]

[cherrybombpie]

Then prove it!

[Her voice is muffled because the journal is closed, but you can hear it anyway.]

[voice]

[nephilimduke]

Why? I don't have to.

[voice]

[cherrybombpie]

Afraid of a challenge?

[voice]

[nephilimduke]

Don't really care to bother doing it.

[voice]

[cherrybombpie]

Then our conversation is truly at an end.

[voice]

[nephilimduke]

Hm, whatever.

[ his shrug is conveyed in his voice. ]