Oh believe me, every expectation I had for myself and for my future have completely gone out the window. Again, that happened before I came here. Now that I am still alive, I'm struggling to figure out what I am supposed to be doing.

[Because this was not the game plan]

I don't feel like I have any goals. Nothing to strive towards. I allowed myself to focus on my relationship with Riku and that...was an unwise decision on my part. I don't know what I was thinking. It was nice, but it didn't work out.

[At this point, he shouldn't be surprised.]

How could it though?