Week 24

[scurveydog]

A’course th’ first thing that I would do when faced wi’ a bowl ‘o strange treats th’ likes ‘o which I had ne’er seen, I’d definitely eat it ri’ off th’ bat. Ye all are a buncha idiots but I can’t help but love ya. I been laughin’ all week. A’fore ye ask, I don’ know where they came from or where they’re goin’ to. So don’ bother me about it. Hain’t got much preamble fer ye otherwise, so let’s start out.

News

The battle betwixt th’ Navy and Three Days Jack has turned into an all out war. He called reinforcements. Dunno where he got ‘em but he got ‘em. Stay away from Corsair. Neither side’ll appreciate ye joinin’ an’ yer liable to get trammled if ye get in the way. Kingdom itself is devastated. Magistrates been routed. Thirty-five people killed in the capital and an entire village razed to th’ ground. They say that Three Days Jack danced on th’ corpses ‘o the villagers to taunt the Navy and it wouldn’ surprise me much. What’s more, he’s been clamin’ one ‘o ye has been helpin’ him. I’m sure that hain’t true. None of ye can be that blindingly stupid—I hope.

Th’ Emperor of Yuezhong has passed away due to old age, most like. Th’ throne to be goin’ to his great nephew who has no great love ‘o pirates but a great love ‘o Redd’s Wine and’ll likely be acceptin’ tribute. So if ye want ta get in good after some ‘o ye lot poked th’ hornet's nest a few months ago, this’ll do it.

Weather

North: Nothin’ but snow. Heaps ‘o it. An’ ice. Sleet. It’ll be rough sailin’ and I’ll doubt ye’ll get much sunshine out ‘o it so enjoy it when ye do.

East: Snow as well but not as much and not so much ice, but it’ll be bitter cold so keep in mind and try not to sleep out on deck least ye not wake up.

West: Still rain. Great possible chance ‘o fledglin’ kraken. Try to watch those swells. Heard we got some fifty footers out there. Smashed Black Clegg’s armada all ta shit and mayhap Clegg himself if yer lucky. If ye hain’t, well, he’s like as not ta be in a mood.

South: Hot, dry, windy an’ full ‘o kraken by this time. Great time for accidentally settin’ things on fire so watch yerself less ye end up on bits ‘o plankin in hungry kraken infested waters.

S’about all I got fer ye. To ye that are new I answer one question a week. One. So don’t be stupid about it and save yer sass fer someone else.

Comments

[oceanicbutterfly]

Thank you, Mr. Dog.

[scurveydog]

Yer welcome. Expected some harebrained question ta be honest so thank'ee fer not wastin' everyone's time.

[oceanicbutterfly]

I'm certain I'll think of one as soon as somebody else asks something. But you're welcome nonetheless.

[redcinemareel]

As always, thank you for the information. We'll put it to good use. [Time to suck up to royalty.]

I've asked you this before, I believe, but I was not able to be in time to get it answered. Were you able to find out if a wish has been made with this jewel when it was whole or otherwise?

[scurveydog]

If I was hypothetically goin' ta answer that question, I'd tell ye I hain't had the time. Meep has been distracted by her an' my sources are bein' picked off one by one but when I do know, ye will know. Hypothetically.

[redcinemareel]

I see. [It's a good enough answer for her. It means that, hypothetically, Scurvey was still searching for it. Or going to. Hypothetically.] A lot has come up for all of us.

I'll refrain from asking for quite some time, then. This information is vital, but it won't do to be a pest. [A pause.] Morse so than usual. Thank you.

[scurveydog]

Vital? I'd consider it a nigglin' detail at this junction. Whether or not a wish has been or can be granted, there's no denyin' these shards have a considerable. power all their own. Once th' whole thing is completed...well who knows?

But yer welcome.

[hearts_beat]

I certainly hope none of us are blindingly stupid to help him. Pirate or not, I'd rather not have that much blood on my hands.

So, I'd assume any spare Navy ship's gonna be riled up by all that... Nice.

[scurveydog]

Oh aye, they're like as not to be comin' after ye next. Even if they don't believe it, it's as good excuse as any. Yer a scourge on these seas after all.

[hostclubshadowking]

Some of us tried to avoid those candies. [He wasn't successful.]

I'll make a note to have my crew visit this new emperor with proper tribute. Thank you.

[scurveydog]

They're nasty 'lil bastards alright. And ye don't have to pay tribute ye know. Yuezhong politics can be a messy business so tread lightly.

[hostclubshadowking]

We had a few incidents ourselves.

[blastiaobsessieanonymous]

So, wait, you're responsible for this?

[scurveydog]

Ye know, I specifically hypothetically answered that question because I thought somethin' more relative to current situations might come along. Shoulda known one 'o ye new babies'd crop up with a question like that.

By this I expect ye mean that yer here. Th' answer is no. Which anyone else woulda told ye had ye but asked. But ye had to ask me. That's on yer head.

So ye have yer answer and try ta think a little more in th' future.

[sage_of_aspio]

SOmeone else with my group'll deal with the warzone thing.

I just need to know who to punch for those damned candies.

[scurveydog]

...That's truly what yer concerned about?

Yer a moron.

[and the journal is closed]

Audio;

[hiken]

The nephew?

Ugh, I hope it's not the guy I punched. That guy was a jerk. I'd have to go back and punch him again.

Audio;

[feetarestrange]

I'm thinking this is a story I should hear.

Audio;

[hiken]

Hmmm. I dunno how good a story it'd be.

We were on Yuezhong and I got into a fight with this guy trying to make me look like I was weak. So, this other guy walked up to us and told the first guy that he had to get back to work and threatened him. So, I punched the second guy and he turned out to be some really rich noble. Anyway, I took his nice hat made of jewels and sold it.

Audio

[doctor_ozaki]

[Claps]

Niiice one...

...

I'd do it too.

And I like how everyone is all too desperate to suck up to the guy, and our plan is to punch him.. again. [No but really, he likes this crew.]

( audio )

[opendoor]

Oh! I'm new! So I get a question ri- [ -ght? oh heck no she's not wasting her question on that! ] -iiiiiI'm pretty sure I get a question which please note, I haven't asked!

voice

[thatched]

Doesn't work like that I'm afraid, sweet miss. Just one question per week no matter who asks it.

But I may be able to answer a few, if you have them.

( audio )

[opendoor]

I see! I thought it would be one of those tricky things where we each get a question but we have to be very careful about how we phrase it... Well what if we don't ask her a question then but just make guesses and she can correct us if we're wrong?

[ oooh yeah that sounds good! sometimes, she surprises herself with how she's a wily fox of a mastermind. ]

Oh but thank you for offering! I do have some questions- okay no. I have a lot of questions. But I should warn you, people who've tried helping me have kind of run into some bad luck. I don't suppose you own any kind of transportation vessel that might be lost during a high speed escape and will erupt into flames? Uh. All and any resemblance to real life events is strictly coincidental!

[ okay she doesn't want to just lie but she also she doesn't want to put him off completely! ]

[om_nom_namur]

Aw damn I missed talkin' t' y' 'gain cuz I had t' catch up t' the ship. Shit.

[mephistophilus]

Quite informative. You have my thanks, Mister Dog.