[voice]

[abundantlove]

This has been... really overdue, but it's time I finally spoke up.

Regarding the statements I made while under the control of the witch... I am incredibly sorry and regret all of them. I'm sure many of you know that, were I in my right mind, I would never have made such claims. However, as the Captain of the Shepherd, I'm still completely responsible for them.

So, to everyone I threatened, to the other crews I made an enemy of when... not myself, I humbly ask your forgiveness. What was said in the past is in the past... the mission I believe in for my crew is one where we can all sail the seas as friends in safety and harmony.

As for the crew of the Shepherd...

... I owe you the biggest apology of all. I failed you. I attacked you. And even if it wasn't me, I, again, bear the responsibility of what I did. I want to do everything I can to make you all trust me again...

[from here on, Mana's voice begins to crack]

... but at the same time, I don't think I can serve you all to the best of my abilities. I... I and the people closest to me have a lot to work through, a lot to work out, and I... I just need to step away from my duties for a little while and concentrate on them...

I am deeply, deeply sorry. In this time, I'd like to put Jade Curtiss in temporary command once again, until the time I am able to return to my duties...

[she lets out a final, weary sigh. This was something she'd wrote out, and rewrote several times, and this time, she'd done it without asking Rikka for help. The fact a fourteen year old put this together and spoke this way may be somewhat shocking to people...]

That's all. Th-thank you all for your time...

Comments

[rosettawall]

[Alice gives a little sigh. Of course. That sounded like a very Mana sort of thing. It shouldn't - really, it didn't - surprise her. She frowns just a bit briefly towards what she says at the end.]

...as I said when we were trapped, I know you do not need the reminder to know that... do you...?

[She wouldn't think as such, but given the way Mana had now been acting... Her eyes shift over to Rikka briefly, as if almost wanting to will something to happen. Hearing such an outburst between the both of them was extremely foreign to her. The air in there did not feel what she would call "cleared," and in that moment, her mind feels more clear and focused than it had in a month.

Gently, she reached out and picks up not the clover gem, but the diamond. It's as if a quiet notice that she wasn't just simply adding herself in there, or even thinking of herself. It's her adding what represented Rikka onto Mana's bracelet. Somehow, that seems fitting in this moment

She then smiles warmly.]

Mana... I told you a lot of things when we were trapped. About how I felt regarding all that had happened, about my worries... My fears and my anger... I've told Rikka many of those things now, as well... And she told me just as much.

[Her eyes shift back towards Rikka.] But it feels as if there's still more things which need to be said. [She looks back to Mana.] I do not want anything to be left or held back, Mana... I- I think it's important we all can be honest with each other in our thoughts, don't you agree?

[diamondlight]

[Well. That put her on the spot... not that she hadn't been expecting that. With a brief glance back to Alice that she tried not to make accusing, she sighs, smiling slightly, and with a whisper to herself.] Right. No secrets.

Mana. It's been a long time coming, but... I think there are a few things I need to get off my chest. Because you are too important to me to just let things stay as they are. I've had some time to think about things over the last week, and the week before that, when the two of you were... elsewhere. You don't have to listen, if you really don't want to, but... I'd appreciate it.

[She takes a deep breath, and wills herself to calm down. For some reason, this conversation had been easier to have with Alice... but there was no escaping it. Whatever happened, this... she had to do this. She was okay if Mana didn't talk to her for a little while afterward. They would still be friends, or more, forever... right?]

That love of yours, that you need to remind yourself of... I know it's still there. Because I depend on it, now. I've felt this way since before we came here, but I don't think I'd know what to do if I didn't have you anymore. You are the most important person in the world to me. And it's hard for me to watch you like this. This is... this is not the Mana I love. And I hate that. I hate that I can't do anything about it. I hate that, on some level, it's my fault because I couldn't protect you, either in the fortress, or on the ship when everything started. I hate that, with all the intelligence I'm so proud of, I'm useless when these things keep happening.

When the witch took the two of you away from me, I didn't think I'd ever see you again. I was heartbroken. I... said a few things I regret now, and if there hadn't been a few people that talked me down, I'd have just sat on my bed and never came out. I didn't think things would ever get better. I just... my life was over. Why bother?

So having the two of you back makes me realize what a fool I've been, and it's made me even more certain that I cannot lose you. I would push myself beyond my limits if that's what it took. I know I'm making some big statements now, when it's safe and there's nothing for me to prove them against, but I'll prove it, someday. I promise that much. But... I don't want to do it alone. Together, the three of us can handle anything that comes our way. I'm even more sure of that now. We just need to find our love again. We've got to put everything out in the open, so we can stop dancing around our pain and our uncertainties.

[From the corner of her eye, she sees Alice pick up the diamond charm, and it gives her courage. It makes her more sure of what she's doing, and she reaches for Mana's hand, picking up the heart charm. To mark her faith that she can feel pounding in her chest even now, stronger with every passing second as she gains momentum. Her voice gets a little stronger as she keeps going.]

I said this to Alice already, but... you don't need to prove anything to me, Mana. I love you as you are, as you've always been. I know what makes you tick, the things that make you happy, make you sad, confuse you a little, give you the strength to keep going. The things you're not sure about, that worry you, that you want but you don't want to tell us about. I know them all, even some of the things you've never told me. And I accept them all. Because you are dear to me, and I accept everything about you. I'm not perfect either. I know that, and I know you know that. You've saved me more times than I can count. And I want to be there to save you when you need it, too.

I'm sure you have doubts. After everything that's happened, all three of us do. I know I do, and Alice has shared some of the things she's worried about with me. And I think it's silly for us to just keep everything bottled up inside. Not when we're all so worried about each other. I know you have to feel like you've let us down. And I hate that. I understand that you want to protect us, to guide us. But you're just like us. You have feelings, you make mistakes, and you wonder if what you're doing is the right thing.

[Shifting, carefully moving the charm to her other hand, Rikka reaches out to Mana, putting a hand on her cheek.]

But I think you're doing just fine. Even the best leaders have to stop and think about things, sometimes. That's why they have close people, to catch them, to reassure them. I know it's been hard, these last few weeks. But please... let us in. Let me in. [She can feel tears in her eyes, again, but she's not going to deal with that now. It's not important.] I want to help, so much that it hurts. And I don't know what else to do. All I know how to do is talk, and you're better at that than I am, when it comes to things like this. But I've had the best teacher... I want to try, if there's a chance it'll help at all. I owe you that much, after all this time.

[rosettawall]

[Alice flashes Rikka an apologetic look before she starts, and largely just sits to listen. She had heard much of it already, of course. Hearing it applied to Mana, though, Rikka just pouring out every thought and emotion towards her... Much like Rikka, she finds those tears welling up again. She doesn't fight them, and as Rikka finishes she lets out a long, relieved breath.]

The Aida Mana I love, the one who has inspired me, that I admired and looked up to, the one whose words allowed me to change how I lived my life... That is the Mana I want to see. The Mana I know is still there. When I was trying to hide my feelings after I arrived here, you told me then that you wanted to see me smile for real...

[She smiles, surprising herself with just how honest and warm she finds it.] I want to see that. I know you might have to work through some things before you can, but I want you to do that. We cannot be afraid of saying what we all feel. I spent too long doing that, myself.

I have felt many terrible, horrible things these last few weeks, but... I am still here because we all have something greater. You showed me that when we were trapped. Rikka has shown me that here. Let us show you that now, Mana. Please. It means so much to me you were here, trying to fix this room for me... But you need rest, as well. You need to be taken care of too.

[abundantlove]

[Mana listened to what they both had to say... she kept entirely silent, nodding and paying attention the entire time. Once Alice was finished, she closed her hand, holding the clover charm]

Before I answer both of you... I have a confession to make. Several days ago, when the both of you were talking, I... I was standing outside the room. I heard part of what you both said...

I wasn't trying to eavesdrop! I was coming to see you, and... I didn't want to interrupt, and... I guess, I was in a bad place still, and I left. But I want you to know, I'm ashamed of it. That I made a mistake. That I should have been honest with you both at the time...

[she took a deep breath, and closed her eyes]

But... I can't spend my time feeling sorry for myself. It's like what Aguri-chan told me when Regina was taken away. It's just, I've spent so much time thinking I could do everything... that I could be the person everyone needed... and in reason, I can do that. But it's not about being a superwoman, or someone who's extraordinary... it's about you all... the both of you especially...!

[she opened her eyes, revealing them to be watering]

And... I know if I have both of you... I can do anything! ... No. No. We can do anything. I forgot that... I forgot that I needed to just be myself, stop taking it on my shoulders alone, and believe in both of you...! That I had to be everyone else's strength. I forgot that you can only be that by letting them be your strength too...!

I... I thought I'd failed by not being able to make you see the witch as I did. But I'm selfish if I think I can make you both feel the way I did... that... that you'd lose yourself if you forgot about love. But maybe none of us did... maybe our love was always there, we just... forgot how we should express it... Precure don't fight with hatred, but that doesn't mean... that doesn't mean we can never feel it. And if you two are ever in danger of losing yourselves... I want you to know I'll always be there to pull you back...

... because this is twice now you've done the exact same for me...

[diamondlight]

[For just a moment, she feels scandalized - what parts had she been there for? Thinking back, Rikka knew she'd said a lot of things about Mana, and their relationship... hmm. But at the end of the day... did it matter? They were talking now, and Mana hadn't come to whine about anything, and there weren't any weird things in what she'd said just now. Or, well, nothing beyond the weird things she'd already been half-expecting to hear.

No more secrets. That was the creed she'd promised to Alice, and that was how she'd work with Mana.]

It's okay, really. We're supposed to be girlfriends, right? I have no reason to stop you from coming to my room, or listening to see who I'm with. Curiosity, fear, uncertainty... those are human emotions. You're allowed to feel them, Mana.

But you're right - you can't do everything. Not alone. There are a lot of things you can do, but even you can only do so much before you overextend yourself. But together, nothing can stop us. We'll take care of whatever this world throws at us, whatever the Selfish throw at us, whoever else wants to get in our way... I'm confident of that. I have that confidence because I believe in both of you.

And I want to be your strength, just as much as you want to be mine, Mana. Anything I can give, I will. Whatever I can do, or say, or find, or be, I accept that mission. I didn't give my heart to someone I don't trust to do the right thing with it. Even if she missteps sometimes, or she gets lost.

[She smiles again, and it's tinged with a bit of satisfaction. She'd gotten through, and she'd managed to finally get Mana to take it easily. Hopefully.]

I am proud to have you by my side, Mana. And I'm glad you'll be watching over me. I know I can get a little crazy sometimes, especially where you and Alice are involved, and if I can repay just a little of the kindness you've shared with me over my whole life, I'll be happy.

[rosettawall]

Besides that, I do not believe there was anything spoken then I would not wish for Mana to also hear... It is the both of you who changed me, it is the both of you who I took up power to protect. It is the both of you that I love, and I want to give you both all that I am. Just as I know you will return that in kind. I would have told you the same then as I am now.

[She holds the Diamond charm between her fingers and looks at it briefly, then to Rikka, and to Mana.]

We each hold parts of all our hearts now. As I said, it is up to us to all take care of each other, now more so than ever... And I shall. Whatever it is I must do for you both, wherever we must go... I will not be afraid any longer of doing that. Because I have that faith you will both accept me for who I am, and Cyou will both pull me out of the darkness should I fall. Both of you have done that. I would be lying if I said I did not count on you to continue doing that. Be it in battle, or my own silly insecurities... Because I wish to do the same for you.

What we have chosen is not easy, be it in fighting, or in opening ourselves up to each other as we have. In truth, the former is probably much, much easier... But this is where we are. This is where I want to be. For now, in spite of all that has happened... I finally feel like just maybe we can all be happy again, if it's the three of us.

[abundantlove]

[By now, Mana was smiling warmly as she sipped away some of the remaining tears welled up at the corners of her eyes. These two... everyone always talked about how Mana was the heart of the team, but Mana always saw it differently... This was why.

They were who she had given her heart to... They were her heart and soul...

And now... Now there was only one thing to really do, wasn't there]

Alice, Rikka... I love you both so much... Thank you, from the deepest part of my heart...

[she now held up the unthreaded end of the unfinished bracelet]

Now... what do you say we take back our heart thumping excitement...?

...

...

That was really corny wasn't it?

[diamondlight]

[She can't help but grin at Mana.]

Very, very corny. But that's the Mana I've been waiting to see again.

[Rikka holds up the heart charm she's holding, watching it glisten in the light.]

That's the Mana I love, and the one I'm going to follow. It's good to have you back.

[rosettawall]

[Alice smiles as well, reaching out and sliding the diamond along the end Mana was holding up.]

Indeed, that too is the Mana that I expect... The one who's always inspired me, no matter what else may be happening.

[She looks back and forth between the both of them.]

To be able to see the both of you smiling again, like this... There was a time when I worried I wouldn't get to see it again. [She blinks tears out of her eyes a bit.] But to see the smiles of the two people I love the most again... That much alone makes everything seem so much brighter...

[abundantlove]

[Mana could do nothing except smile... and once Alice threaded her bead, she quickly threaded the clover. Once that was done, she held the bracelet over to Rikka]

From me to you... my sweethearts!

[there would be no apologies for corniness this time]