piratejournal | [voice]

This has been... really overdue, but it's time I finally spoke up.

Regarding the statements I made while under the control of the witch... I am incredibly sorry and regret all of them. I'm sure many of you know that, were I in my right mind, I would never have made such claims. However, as the Captain of the Shepherd, I'm still completely responsible for them.

So, to everyone I threatened, to the other crews I made an enemy of when... not myself, I humbly ask your forgiveness. What was said in the past is in the past... the mission I believe in for my crew is one where we can all sail the seas as friends in safety and harmony.

As for the crew of the Shepherd...

... I owe you the biggest apology of all. I failed you. I attacked you. And even if it wasn't me, I, again, bear the responsibility of what I did. I want to do everything I can to make you all trust me again...

[from here on, Mana's voice begins to crack]

... but at the same time, I don't think I can serve you all to the best of my abilities. I... I and the people closest to me have a lot to work through, a lot to work out, and I... I just need to step away from my duties for a little while and concentrate on them...

I am deeply, deeply sorry. In this time, I'd like to put Jade Curtiss in temporary command once again, until the time I am able to return to my duties...

[she lets out a final, weary sigh. This was something she'd wrote out, and rewrote several times, and this time, she'd done it without asking Rikka for help. The fact a fourteen year old put this together and spoke this way may be somewhat shocking to people...]

That's all. Th-thank you all for your time...

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[It takes him a few moments to reply, but... he knows what he has to say.]

I've found that those most accustomed to taking care of others? Need those they take care of to care for them, too. Even if they'd prefer not to be taken care of.

Rikka, Alice, and the Shepherd's reputation were hurt more than I was... far more. I have to do what I can to rise above this and make things turn back to normal...

And do you believe that withdrawing because of a mistake is a sign of rising above? I don't mean to argue with your actions, Mana-san -- we all must do what we feel is right, and I respect your position to make such a decision -- but it looks far more like running away than attempting to atone and demonstrate what you are truly capable of.

I'm taking a break so I don't hurt anyone in the state I'm in...

And I completely understand that. I'm simply from a world where appearance is everything, so I've learned what people say when actions are taken. I merely know that not every act is interpreted in the correct light and, sadly, interpretation is far more weighty than truth.

... I know. I should really know that better than most, considering the position I had back home...

But. Thank you for reminding me Kyouya-san...

What position was that?

[It's a different avenue of conversation, and Kyouya doesn't want to end this on that sour of a note.]

My father runs one of the largest hospital and health care management conglomerates in Japan. [In the world, really, but he's being a bit modest.] I grew up watching my brothers be trained in precisely how to handle every situation they would encounter as president and vice-president of the Otori Group.

Student council president... it's so much smaller than what you described, but... there were people who counted on me...

I was a class representative at my school, too. It's a lot of responsibility, a lot like being a captain.

Ha, you're right. Somtimes I push myself so hard I get really tired...

Edited 2014-02-02 05:06 (UTC)

Be careful about that. Sometimes, without even meaning to, you might run yourself far more ragged than you meant to. For no good reason.

I know, believe me.

[she doesn't add that she feels sometimes, you don't have a choice]

[He knows it. All too well.]

I hope you'll take care of yourself.

[voice]

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