[Well. That put her on the spot... not that she hadn't been expecting that. With a brief glance back to Alice that she tried not to make accusing, she sighs, smiling slightly, and with a whisper to herself.] Right. No secrets.
Mana. It's been a long time coming, but... I think there are a few things I need to get off my chest. Because you are too important to me to just let things stay as they are. I've had some time to think about things over the last week, and the week before that, when the two of you were... elsewhere. You don't have to listen, if you really don't want to, but... I'd appreciate it.
[She takes a deep breath, and wills herself to calm down. For some reason, this conversation had been easier to have with Alice... but there was no escaping it. Whatever happened, this... she had to do this. She was okay if Mana didn't talk to her for a little while afterward. They would still be friends, or more, forever... right?]
That love of yours, that you need to remind yourself of... I know it's still there. Because I depend on it, now. I've felt this way since before we came here, but I don't think I'd know what to do if I didn't have you anymore. You are the most important person in the world to me. And it's hard for me to watch you like this. This is... this is not the Mana I love. And I hate that. I hate that I can't do anything about it. I hate that, on some level, it's my fault because I couldn't protect you, either in the fortress, or on the ship when everything started. I hate that, with all the intelligence I'm so proud of, I'm useless when these things keep happening.
When the witch took the two of you away from me, I didn't think I'd ever see you again. I was heartbroken. I... said a few things I regret now, and if there hadn't been a few people that talked me down, I'd have just sat on my bed and never came out. I didn't think things would ever get better. I just... my life was over. Why bother?
So having the two of you back makes me realize what a fool I've been, and it's made me even more certain that I cannot lose you. I would push myself beyond my limits if that's what it took. I know I'm making some big statements now, when it's safe and there's nothing for me to prove them against, but I'll prove it, someday. I promise that much. But... I don't want to do it alone. Together, the three of us can handle anything that comes our way. I'm even more sure of that now. We just need to find our love again. We've got to put everything out in the open, so we can stop dancing around our pain and our uncertainties.
[From the corner of her eye, she sees Alice pick up the diamond charm, and it gives her courage. It makes her more sure of what she's doing, and she reaches for Mana's hand, picking up the heart charm. To mark her faith that she can feel pounding in her chest even now, stronger with every passing second as she gains momentum. Her voice gets a little stronger as she keeps going.]
I said this to Alice already, but... you don't need to prove anything to me, Mana. I love you as you are, as you've always been. I know what makes you tick, the things that make you happy, make you sad, confuse you a little, give you the strength to keep going. The things you're not sure about, that worry you, that you want but you don't want to tell us about. I know them all, even some of the things you've never told me. And I accept them all. Because you are dear to me, and I accept everything about you. I'm not perfect either. I know that, and I know you know that. You've saved me more times than I can count. And I want to be there to save you when you need it, too.
I'm sure you have doubts. After everything that's happened, all three of us do. I know I do, and Alice has shared some of the things she's worried about with me. And I think it's silly for us to just keep everything bottled up inside. Not when we're all so worried about each other. I know you have to feel like you've let us down. And I hate that. I understand that you want to protect us, to guide us. But you're just like us. You have feelings, you make mistakes, and you wonder if what you're doing is the right thing.
[Shifting, carefully moving the charm to her other hand, Rikka reaches out to Mana, putting a hand on her cheek.]
But I think you're doing just fine. Even the best leaders have to stop and think about things, sometimes. That's why they have close people, to catch them, to reassure them. I know it's been hard, these last few weeks. But please... let us in. Let me in. [She can feel tears in her eyes, again, but she's not going to deal with that now. It's not important.] I want to help, so much that it hurts. And I don't know what else to do. All I know how to do is talk, and you're better at that than I am, when it comes to things like this. But I've had the best teacher... I want to try, if there's a chance it'll help at all. I owe you that much, after all this time.
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Mana. It's been a long time coming, but... I think there are a few things I need to get off my chest. Because you are too important to me to just let things stay as they are. I've had some time to think about things over the last week, and the week before that, when the two of you were... elsewhere. You don't have to listen, if you really don't want to, but... I'd appreciate it.
[She takes a deep breath, and wills herself to calm down. For some reason, this conversation had been easier to have with Alice... but there was no escaping it. Whatever happened, this... she had to do this. She was okay if Mana didn't talk to her for a little while afterward. They would still be friends, or more, forever... right?]
That love of yours, that you need to remind yourself of... I know it's still there. Because I depend on it, now. I've felt this way since before we came here, but I don't think I'd know what to do if I didn't have you anymore. You are the most important person in the world to me. And it's hard for me to watch you like this. This is... this is not the Mana I love. And I hate that. I hate that I can't do anything about it. I hate that, on some level, it's my fault because I couldn't protect you, either in the fortress, or on the ship when everything started. I hate that, with all the intelligence I'm so proud of, I'm useless when these things keep happening.
When the witch took the two of you away from me, I didn't think I'd ever see you again. I was heartbroken. I... said a few things I regret now, and if there hadn't been a few people that talked me down, I'd have just sat on my bed and never came out. I didn't think things would ever get better. I just... my life was over. Why bother?
So having the two of you back makes me realize what a fool I've been, and it's made me even more certain that I cannot lose you. I would push myself beyond my limits if that's what it took. I know I'm making some big statements now, when it's safe and there's nothing for me to prove them against, but I'll prove it, someday. I promise that much. But... I don't want to do it alone. Together, the three of us can handle anything that comes our way. I'm even more sure of that now. We just need to find our love again. We've got to put everything out in the open, so we can stop dancing around our pain and our uncertainties.
[From the corner of her eye, she sees Alice pick up the diamond charm, and it gives her courage. It makes her more sure of what she's doing, and she reaches for Mana's hand, picking up the heart charm. To mark her faith that she can feel pounding in her chest even now, stronger with every passing second as she gains momentum. Her voice gets a little stronger as she keeps going.]
I said this to Alice already, but... you don't need to prove anything to me, Mana. I love you as you are, as you've always been. I know what makes you tick, the things that make you happy, make you sad, confuse you a little, give you the strength to keep going. The things you're not sure about, that worry you, that you want but you don't want to tell us about. I know them all, even some of the things you've never told me. And I accept them all. Because you are dear to me, and I accept everything about you. I'm not perfect either. I know that, and I know you know that. You've saved me more times than I can count. And I want to be there to save you when you need it, too.
I'm sure you have doubts. After everything that's happened, all three of us do. I know I do, and Alice has shared some of the things she's worried about with me. And I think it's silly for us to just keep everything bottled up inside. Not when we're all so worried about each other. I know you have to feel like you've let us down. And I hate that. I understand that you want to protect us, to guide us. But you're just like us. You have feelings, you make mistakes, and you wonder if what you're doing is the right thing.
[Shifting, carefully moving the charm to her other hand, Rikka reaches out to Mana, putting a hand on her cheek.]
But I think you're doing just fine. Even the best leaders have to stop and think about things, sometimes. That's why they have close people, to catch them, to reassure them. I know it's been hard, these last few weeks. But please... let us in. Let me in. [She can feel tears in her eyes, again, but she's not going to deal with that now. It's not important.] I want to help, so much that it hurts. And I don't know what else to do. All I know how to do is talk, and you're better at that than I am, when it comes to things like this. But I've had the best teacher... I want to try, if there's a chance it'll help at all. I owe you that much, after all this time.