piratejournal | 002

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002 | audio;

[oh boy, jaune is having a less than stellar day right now.]

Come on! What's even going on? I-I mean.... okay, Ruby left, we don't have a crew anymore, people are acting beyond weird, and I just feel like everything is falling apart all at once! I'm so tired of this already...!

[he might be having a little bit of a freakout.]

Guys, are you okay? I wanna help but... I need to join another crew already! Get out on the ocean and really start searching to make things better! If anyone is here on the island with me though and you need help, I'll definitely try and protect you!

[filtered to weiss]

Weiss, look I know you're still mad at me but where are you? With all this crazy stuff going on I don't want to leave you alone. You can go right back to being angry with me afterwards but now is so not the time. Even if it's difficult to trust me, you have got to trust me now!

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[he straightens up a little, still panting but he smiles a bit.]

Y-yeah, I know that. Just think of it as... we're partners, like in the forest. Just until this is over.

You don't remember me leaving you stuck on a tree in the forest, do you?

[ Clearly her view on being his partner is pretty obvious. ]

[...yuuuupp. he's feeling pretty terrible about all this.]

I.... yeah, sorry. It was a dumb suggestion.

[ Weiss is pretty good at making people feel terrible about themselves, sorry Jaune. She can tell he's pretty upset though, so despite crossing her arms and giving him the cold shoulder, after a few seconds, she adds... ]

I'd already seen Ruby when I ran into you anyway.

[ So really, he wasn't the only one she tried to ditch.. ]

[he just nods at that. yeah, she's pretty good at making him feel terrible. he felt bad about telling pyrrha, but then again she had said it was okay and she'd train him.]

Still... I know I'm not a partner you'd want, which is why I said it's only for a little while.

That's exactly why you're a failure! Instead of doing something to make up for what you did, you just mope around and say you'll stay out of my way once it's done suiting what you want to do! If you're not going to at least try, then you might as well leave right now!

[She's facing him now, leaning forward with her eyes narrowed and her hands on her hips. She's done with this, Jaune. ]

Hey!

[okay jaune is getting a little angry now.]

I said I wanted to find you and make sure you're okay! I was worried about you Weiss, and I don't care if you're still mad at me or not! I won't let this... this curse hurt a friend of mine!

Friends don't cheat and lie to each other, Jaune!

[ Weiss stomps her foot on the ground. ] If you want me to even consider forgiving you, then get up to the level a Beacon student is supposed to be at and I'll think about it.

I didn't lie to you, I told you- didn't I?! It's like you're so set on hating me or something!

I asked you to help me train, that was all because I still want to be good enough! I know I'm not the best, but... but I think I was also made a leader for a reason.

It might take courage to stand up in a battle, but I think it's even more brave to stand up to a friend.

Would you have told me if you weren't drunk, Jaune?

[ This is the important part here. Because she'll train him and she definitely won't go easy on him. But she's also convinced that if he wasn't drunk, she would've never found out until it was too late. Operating on the assumption that he's just really good under pressure was enough to explain how he'd managed to qualify for Beacon, but if that wasn't true then she couldn't trust him to have her back and that was what was important in a partner. It was why she'd gotten off so rocky at the beginning with Ruby, because they weren't operating as a team. Weiss was going to be the best teammate she could, but she couldn't have teammates that she couldn't trust.

That's what made this whole situation with Jaune so hard to deal with because he was supposed to be the one person here who she knew could have her back, and now that was a lie. For a brief moment, Weiss considered selling the ship they had since they couldn't even manage it with just two people as anything other than a place to sleep anyway, and getting her own sailboat and going off on her own. It'd be a lot better than feeling like she was alone even with Jaune at her side. ]

[...now, that was indeed the question.

he hadn't planned on even telling anyone, not until he blurted it out to pyrrha. he might have told her in due time, if it hadn't been for cardin blackmailing him. jaune just stared at weiss, thinking over his options here. would he have told her....?

she would have gotten angry with him either way. he knew weiss worked harder than anyone to get into beacon.]

Yes. [finally he answered.] I would have told you. I can't get better if I keep dwelling on the past.

[ The long silence before the answer made it all the more obvious to Weiss that he hadn't even thought of doing it before now. ]

Not being able to trust you means I'm having trouble believing you. You obviously haven't even thought about telling me before.

[jaune just sighs loudly. he turns around, walking away from her a bit before facing her once more.]

You're just picking fights with me now! I apologize, I ran over here to make sure you're okay, I asked you to help me, I said I would have told you and I would have! Especially if you were going to teach me!

What do you even want from me?

I want you to stop lying! If it takes you that long to think about whether or not you were going to tell me, it obviously wasn't even a possibility to you! If you admitted it, then maybe I could've at least accepted that you were willing to be honest by now!

I'm not lying Weiss!

Why is it so hard for you to trust me?! I've never done anything to make you distrust me.

[this was starting to be absolutely ridiculous. what happened to the girl that promised she would be the best person she could be?]

I kept it from everyone for a long time, I never lied about it. I would have told you, and Ruby- but we arrived here at a terrible time and yeah, I blurted it out under strange circumstances so be mad at me for that, but don't be mad at me because I never got the opportunity to be trained, because I wanted to do something great like my family. I wasn't even told what an aura was until I arrived at Beacon!

Why can't you see I'm trying my best here?!

Don't you understand what cheating is? It means you took all that hard work that everyone else had to do and decided that you didn't have to do it and should just skip ahead because you wanted the rewards without doing the work. If you'd actually gotten into Beacon, then fine, I could work with you. All I know now is that you don't have the basics enough down to have my back if something happened! You can try your best all you want, but you're putting the people you work with in danger when you don't tell us something like that. Trying your best isn't good enough if you're putting other people in danger because your best isn't even average, Jaune.

[ She understood that he wanted to be good-- that was something she understood more than most, but there was a lot more wrong with what was going on the more she thought about it. Before she could stop herself, she blurted out one last question: ]

Have you ever won a single fight without someone holding your hand?

I protected Cardin from an Ursa!

[and he yelled right back at her.]

Even before that, Cardin tried to hit me but my aura activated and he hurt his hand when he attempted to punch me!

That wasn't on your own.

[ And that second one doesn't even sound like a fight so much as getting punched and managing basic aura usage. ]

[he was about to add how he can heal with it as well- but then weiss said that.

jaune stops yelling then just stares at her.]

....What?

[he feels like his heart just stopped for a moment. it was like she knew just what he was talking about, like she was there or something.]

Did you really think your shield moved all on its own to block that Ursa shot? You would've been killed if it wasn't for Pyrrha. She asked us not to tell you, but since we're being honest now, it seems like a good time to mention it.

You're brave, Jaune, and that's why I agreed not to tell you because I thought you just needed a confidence boost-- not to start from the beginning.

[no, it was no use. even though weiss explained to him how exactly he was helped, it really got to him. yet again he was helped by someone, and even though he knew he needed it he... really thought he killed that ursa on his own.

sure, he protected cardin, he can take hits like no other, and he's a damn sturdy guy. none of that mattered right now, jaune needed that battle to remind himself that he had courage, that he had strength he just needed help using them properly in battle.]

I see.

[jaune turned away from weiss, bringing a hand up to his face. he rubbed his forehead, trying to get rid of this sickly feeling. was he entirely useless? no, he knew he wasn't. he was a leader, he couldn't let anyone else down and he refused to go down that path but.... but this was such a harsh blow to him. not even his aura could heal this.]

I... I get it, yeah. [his voice shook as he spoke.] I guess it's only fair, that you hid something from me too. But.... aahh...

[jaune walked away from her a bit more, moving to sit down on some crates at the docks here. he had his head in his hands now and he just shook his head.] I thought I could finally do something on my own for once.

[ Great. Why does she have to feel bad if he's the one who's been messing everything up? The truth hurts, and she'd just sort of blurted it out and realized it was too late to take it back so she rolled with it, but now he was all but destroyed. At least he wasn't yelling at her about why she didn't just accept that he was invalidating the work everyone else had done anymore, but that didn't seem to make her feel much better about saying that. Even if it was the truth. ]

In the interest of fairness, it was only that one instance that she helped you. The rest of the fight was all you.

[he heard her, but he still didn't move from that spot. he was feeling terrible about so many things right about now, his head was spinning and he just didn't have the energy right now to deal with it all.

jaune remained silent, obviously done arguing with her. pyrrha told him that it wasn't a mistake that he had come to beacon, but he was still thinking about that right now. he knew he was brave, he knew he could think quickly when it came down to it but.... but still. the little confidence he had in battle was just ripped away from him.]

[ Right, that was it. Weiss realized that he was down and out now, totally crushed. She'd done that, and it didn't really make her feel better or less betrayed about being cheated since it just made it seem like he was trying really hard to make up for it and running in circles. Pyrrha had probably just started practicing with him, so there was no way for him to get real skills from it. Her primary weapon wasn't a sword either.

Weiss reached to her waist and drew Myrtenaster, pointing it at him. ]

Get up, Jaune. If you've got time to sit and mope, you've got time to work toward being able to win the fights you pick.

[jaune looked up from his hands, giving her a confused look. okay, so she wanted him to fight now, after everything?]

Just what're you-....

[but. something clicked in his head. jaune might not be overly smart or perceptive at times, but he could tell what weiss was doing. she kept saying all this time that he couldn't just mope, that he needed to stand up for himself. he was... still feeling terrible though. when he tried to stand up for himself he was just called a liar even more. when he tried to explain himself she told him that he never even fought on his own.

jaune was not in the mood for this. he wanted to help her, he wanted to be with her because he was worried, but he just kept getting torn down.]

I can't even believe this.

[jaune stood up, facing her head on. fine, he wanted to protect her, but right now she was being about as big of a bully as cardin. there was no need to tell him what pyrrha had done for him, and it was like she had just done it to be mean.]

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