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Well, looks like all eyes and ears haven't been deceivin' me. I been wonderin' if it all be true, and here ye lot are. Well fancy that.

My name be none 'o yours, but ye can call me Scurvey Dog. 'Tis my job, much forced upon me by greater ~~pain in the arse~~ powers, that I be givin' you weather and news nigh about once a week. Whether not ye read it is yer own affair.

Weather is of no use to you lads and lassies right now. It be fair sailin' fer several days outside Empieza, but my bones tell me there be a rough patch comin'.

News? Well, ye lot are the news. The Navy hain't stirred yet but they be grumblin' like a sleepin' giant. Most important news for ye right now is to make sail at the latest by Saturday or the natives won't take too kindly too ye. May even bring out the big pitchforks and won't that be a sight?

That be about all, I reckon.

[there is a lengthy pause. Is that all?]

Now I hain't suppose' to be doin' this, but I'll answer one question a week. First question any 'o you lot ask is the first question I'll answer. Rest 'o ye can bugger off. I hain't got time to be muckin' about in this fiddly book.

[and after a while new writing appears looking harsher.]

Let it be known that a certain bilge rat has been banned from question askin' fer a month. I was a frog's breath from bannin' the lot 'o ye, but it hain't yer fault yer in this mess, so I'll be lenient.

In the future, take yer sass somewhere else, ye ungrateful nitwits.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Is there really a Candy Mountain?!

[Yes, this is important!!]

. . .

Ye have one question out of hundreds and this be the one ye are goin' fer?

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elementofcupcakes - 2013-09-10 07:03 (UTC) - Expand

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scurveydog - 2013-09-10 07:19 (UTC) - Expand

Well. [His voice is perfectly calm, perfectly controlled. He even manages to sound a little amused.] That certainly is an interesting question.

[Are you a moron?! We could have found out how to get home!]

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Did you really just ask that?

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elementofcupcakes - 2013-09-10 07:48 (UTC) - Expand

[If there was anything that deserves a facepalm, this question was it.

So Pinkie, have the sound of a facepalm at you.]

Why did you waste a question like that?

Edited 2013-09-10 07:06 (UTC)

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[Even Natsuno can manage an incredulous tone of voice.]

That's the question you want to ask most?!

((OOC: Oops wrong spot. :)))

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elementofcupcakes - 2013-09-10 07:35 (UTC) - Expand

[Oh goddammit.]

What is wrong with you?

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elementofcupcakes - 2013-09-10 20:55 (UTC) - Expand

. . .

Seriously?

[+1 to the train of people commenting to this question in disbelief]

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Quick! Let's ruin every resource we have for getting home as quickly as possible!

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Hey, there... Well, I won't really ask why you chose that question. But I'm sure that you know, there's many of us here who are waiting for chances for real answers.

Many of us here are getting worried of what's happening back at our homes, what's happening to our friends and family, or what else is important to each of us in our own place. If you had a good reason for asking that, then I won't push the issue further.

But I wish you reconsidered everyone's position, too. Wouldn't it be better if we all received answers to what's going on as soon as possible? Staying week after week in an unknown place, doesn't seem worrying?

I'll direct the same to everyone else, too. I hope that someone steps up correctly for the next week's chance.

Edited 2013-09-10 07:22 (UTC)

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elementofcupcakes - 2013-09-10 07:28 (UTC) - Expand

written

alkemia - 2013-09-10 07:31 (UTC) - Expand

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elementofcupcakes - 2013-09-10 07:39 (UTC) - Expand

not here!

alkemia - 2013-09-10 07:49 (UTC) - Expand

also not here!

elementofcupcakes - 2013-09-10 07:58 (UTC) - Expand

[UG, what is that sound? Her voice is so loud.]

[Have a grouch in reply]

Do us a favor, kid. Keep your mouth shut next time.

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donthithimintheballs - 2013-09-11 04:27 (UTC) - Expand

Maybe... next time you should let someone else have a turn, okay?

[VOICE]

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[At first there is just quiet but lengthy laughter. Then Descry catches his breath. He doesn't say anything, but the following text appears in flowing handwriting.]

What is Candy Mountain?

That question was for the vivacious young lady, not the dog with scurvy.

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Oh, c'mon!

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elementofcupcakes - 2013-09-11 09:58 (UTC) - Expand

Are you out of your mind? THIS is the first thing that passes through that mass of useless meat you call a brain?

Edited 2013-09-10 13:06 (UTC)

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Candy Moun...

[There's a pause, and then a resigned sigh.]

There's one of you everywhere, isn't there.

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elementofcupcakes - 2013-09-11 10:01 (UTC) - Expand

...What?

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Answer is, 'A nut'

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... Of course that's what you asked.

[Somehow... she just knew this kind of thing would happen... and that it would be Pinkie.]

[Really, he was just going to chalk it up to you being an idiot, Pinkie Pie, but seriously now. Seriously. You could have asked any other question in the world, and he'd be less inclined to give you a verbal tear-down.

But since you didn't ask any other question in the world, guess what.]

Aye ye daft, then? Are ye so completely stupid and self-absorbed, then, that you purposely chose the most inane, nonsensical, stupid question your tiny little brain could churn out like so much bilge?

Did, perhaps, ye stop to think that there be those far brighter, far more clever, and with two bits of brains to rub between their fingers - unlike yourself - before you opened your great stupid mouth and let words just tumble free, willy-nilly, with no thoughts to the consequences or sheer stupidity of what you were about to say.

Of course not. Thank you, ye great bloody sloth-brained dimwit. Thank you. Because if you hadn't asked that stupid, inane, nonsensical question, we might have gotten the answer on how to get home.

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.......

[This face Pinkpie just this face. Or it would be if it wasn't voice, so there's just shocked silence of his part]

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elementofcupcakes - 2013-09-10 21:19 (UTC) - Expand

[And then there's just hysterical laughter from Ace's end.]

Well, it's not really a mountain!

It's more like a fortress!

Edited 2013-09-11 00:48 (UTC)

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Next time lass, just ask where it is.

[Smoker genuinely doesn't have a problem with her spending the question on this. He is totally going to sail to Candy Mountain, okay.]

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Ehhhh? Candy Mountain?

YEAH! This girl said there was Candy Mountain around here somewhere!

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elementofcupcakes - 2013-09-10 07:59 (UTC) - Expand

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allendsmeat - 2013-09-10 16:21 (UTC) - Expand

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allendsmeat - 2013-09-11 08:57 (UTC) - Expand

Wait, are you really a dog?

You think he is? Oooh! You should ask that question next week! I bet he's really cool!

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