fierybluebird: Giving a one winged hug (Guardian angel)
Marco the Phoenix ([personal profile] fierybluebird) wrote in [community profile] piratejournal 2014-04-15 10:05 am (UTC)

Sit.

[Tugs her into a one-armed hug around the shoulders.]

[Selphie has never seen him angry. Never seen him ready to burn the whole world in rage in pain.]

[Didn't see him murder hundreds in revenge.]

[Thousands.]

[Didn't see him against the admirals.]

[And frankly, Marco hopes she never will.]

[Yeah, Ikki is more like Ace with his rage. Always blowing up. Always a shook up bottle of soda that needs some release.]


First. Do you trust him?

I don't.... [He takes a deep breath, closes his eyes and slowly lets it go.] let people see that side of me. That rage. [His eyes flicker for a bit. He wishes he could explain it. The desire to rip another man's larynx out with his bare hands and -- err no. This is why he doesn't.] I don't trust them with it. Ask Namur sometime about the last time he ever really saw me angry. Thatch knows me best and I think we can both agree it would take a lot to unnerve Thatch, aye?

[His eyes flatten slightly and he turns his head to give her a serious look.] I unnerve him.

Ace explodes when he's mad. I don't. [He holds up his hand into a small ball.] I always burn. But no one sees it. Ikki is younger than I am. He hasn't had the time I've had to contain it all. Maybe that's better in some ways, but aye.... it's definitely scary.

But if you trust him, then you have to know, he will never ever hurt you on purpose. That's why he's so extra angry right now. Because anything either of you do is painful, eh? And it's all just a matter of which pain is less.

I can't tell you which is less. Only you could know that and it doesn't sound like you do yet.

And believe me, if you're finished, that's all just as well. Stop hurting each other.

But don't walk on eggshells with him. If you treat him like a monster, he'll see himself like that.

He's still Ikki. He takes all that rage and he uses it pretty well all told. He uses it to protect this crew. [Gestures to the forest behind them.] You don't see anything on fire or blowing up, eh? That's because Ace and Ikki, no matter how mad they are just want to protect their family. THIS family.

But you can't treat yourself like paper that will combust just from being near him. Otherwise you will burn that easily, and I think he would break. He'd never forgive himself. So I'm going to be very very cruel and ask you to be stronger than that. Not just for me, but for you as well. [He pokes her nose gently.]

Be tough as rain. No oxygen there to burn. You have to start realizing you have more power in your hands than you're giving yourself credit for. You hurt, but it hurts him too. If you punch him, it's not gonna hurt him, but at least it'll get through to him. If you cry... it's like dragging knives down his back. So remember when I said it's about which will hurt less? Punch him. Yell at him. Stand up for yourself. He'll respect it. He'll respect it even if I have to drag him through Impel Down myself. But if you don't stand up for yourself to even tell the flames to back off, then I'm scared Selphie. All this hurt you're in now might get worse, and I don't want that. So I want you to try your best, Sunshine. You can try finding your own way, you don't have to trust me blindly, but you've got to be willing to do something like that or it'll hurt him a lot worse.

Right now, he's numb. I haven't been a great brother the last month with him because I've been dealing with a lot of my own shit, but he's not in a good state. That's not your fault. That's my warning. He's burning himself.

I taught Ace how to handle his temper better, but Ikki has control over his temper. What he doesn't have is a way of dealing with people. Ace knows more about people than I ever will, so I don't know how to help that, eh?

You don't have to do anything you don't want to. If being around Ikki hurts and you'd rather not even be within ten feet of him, I'll try to make that happen, but if you do want to talk to him still, then you have to start with protecting yourself mentally, got it? Stand strong. Teach him what he's doing wrong. He's smart, he's just inexperienced. And the experiences he does have are very very bad.

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